Christmas is a time for joy, laughter and fun. But what if you could make your kids laugh even more with some funny Christmas Dad Jokes?
With the holiday season in full swing, many people are looking for ways to spread good cheer and laughter. And when we talk about Christmas Dad Jokes, there is no surprise that they have been around us for a long time, but they have recently become more popular than ever. Not only does it bring some holiday cheer, but it also helps build strong bonds between family members by sharing something that everyone can enjoy.
Here we’ve compiled a list of the best Christmas Dad Jokes that are enough to bring your families closer together by creating lasting happy memories. So scroll down and see what we’ve got you covered.
Christmas Dad Jokes
1. What do snowmen call their offspring?
Chill-dren.
2. What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa?
A rebel without a Claus.
3. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
Nothing. It was on the house.
4. Who delivers presents to cats?
Santa Paws.
5. Why shouldn’t you trust snowmen?
They’re always up to snow good.
6. What did Santa do when he went speed dating?
He pulled a cracker.
7. Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?
Because he had very low elf esteem.
8. What’s Santa Claus’s favorite type of potato chip?
Crisp Pringles.
9. What is a Christmas tree’s favorite candy?
Ornamints.
10. How many presents can Santa fit in an empty sack?
Only one. After one present, it is not empty any more.
11. What do you call Santa’s little helpers?
Subordinate clauses.
12. Which of Santa’s friends is the most chill?
Jack Frost.
13. What’s the absolute best Christmas present?
A broken drum — you can’t beat it.
14. Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can ‘ho ho ho’.
15. What do you call an elf that can sing and dance?
Elfis.
16. What’s Santa’s favorite fruit?
(Sugar)plums.
17. What makes a candy cane a collector’s item?
It’s in mint condition.
18. What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
19. What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
Claustrophobia.
20. How does a sheep say Merry Christmas?
Fleece Navidad.
21. What does Miley Cyrus have at Christmas?
Twerky.
22. Why did Frosty’s wife ask for a divorce?
He was a total flake.
23. Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy.
24. What’s the scariest thing about the holidays?
The ghost of Christmas presents.
25. Who automatically gets added to the nice list?
Anyone who cleans their chimney.
26. What is Santa’s favorite state?
Ida-ho-ho-ho.
27. What are the best Christmas sweaters made from?
Fleece Navidad.
28. What comes at the end of Christmas Day?
The letter “Y!”
29. Why did Santa’s helper feel sad?
He had low elf-esteem.
30. What happens if you eat Christmas decorations?
You get tinsel-it is.
31. What do Santa’s elves learn in school?
The elf-abet.
32. Why wouldn’t the Christmas tree stand up?
It had no legs.
33. What’s red and white and falls down chimneys?
Santa Klutz.
34. Why didn’t Rudolph go to school?
He was elf-taught.
35. What does Santa do with out of shape elves?
Sends them to an elf Farm.
36. Which of Santa’s reindeer has the best moves?
Dancer.
37. How did Scrooge win the football game?
The ghost of Christmas passed.
38. What do you call Santa when he takes a break?
Santa Pause.
39. What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
Claus-trophobia.
40. What do snowmen take when the sun gets too hot?
A chill pill.
41. What’s red, white, and blue at Christmas?
A sad candy cane.
42. What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree?
Nice gnawing you.
43. Who’s Santa’s favorite singer?
Elfish Presley.
44. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes or Ice Crispies.
45. Why does Scrooge love reindeer so much?
Because every single buck is dear to him.
46. What do you get when Santa becomes a detective?
Santa CLUES.
47. Where do gingerbread men sleep?
On cookie sheets.
48. How does Santa take photos?
With a Pole-aroid camera&
49. Why don’t crabs celebrate Christmas?
Because they’re shell-fish.
50. Who’s the snowman’s favorite rapper?
Ice Cube.
51. What is an elf’s favorite sport?
North-pole vaulting.
52. In what year does New Year’s Day come before Christmas?
EVERY year.
53. Why is Santa so good at karate?
He’s got a black belt.
54. What do elves post on Social Media?
Elf-ies.
55. What do grapes sing at Christmas?
‘Tis the season to be jelly.
56. My wife said if she didn’t like my Christmas gift she’d burn it. So I got her a candle.
57. What is Santa’s primary language?
North Polish.
58. Did you hear about the angry snowman?
It had a meltdown.
59. What is Santa’s favorite kind of candy?
Jolly ranchers.
60. Where do you buy a Christmas gift for your pig?
Hamazon.
61. I can always predict what’s inside a Christmas present. It’s a gift.
62. What should you give your parents at Christmas?
A list of what you want.
63. How do chickens dance at a Christmas party?
Chick to chick.
64. What did one snowman say another snowman?
You’re cool.
65. What does a gingerbread man use to keep his bed warm?
A cookie sheet&
66. Why don’t Christmas trees knit?
They keeping dropping their needles.
67. What do you call a snowman that can walk?
Snow-mobile.
68. What smells most on Christmas?
Santa’s nose.
69. What’s a sheep’s favorite Christmas song?
Fleece Navidad.
70. Do snow globes ever get scared?
No, just shaken.
71. What kind of ball doesn’t bounce?
A snowball.
72. Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?
Santa Jaws.
73. What do you call a broke Santa?
Saint Nickel-less&
74. Why shouldn’t you lend money to elves?
They’re always short.
75. What’s Santa’s favorite candy?
Jolly Ranchers.
76. What does Santa do when his elves misbehave?
He gives them the sack.
77. What is Santa’s favorite place to deliver presents?
Idaho-ho-ho.
78. What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?
Rude-olph.
79. What’s red and green and flies?
A sleigh-sick Santa.
80. Where does Santa cash his checks?
At the snow bank.
81. What did one snowman say to the other?
You smell carrots, too?
82. Why do reindeer wear bells?
Their horns don’t work.
83. What did Santa say to the smoker?
Please don’t smoke, it’s bad for my elf.
84. How do elves respond when Santa takes attendance?
Present.
85. Why does Santa go down the chimney?
Because it soots him.
86. What is a bird’s favorite Christmas story?
The Finch Who Stole Christmas.
87. What’s every parent’s favorite Christmas Carol?
Silent Night.
88. What is Santa’s dog’s name?
Santa Paws.
89. Why do snowmen live at the North Pole?
Because it’s cool.
90. Did you hear about the ski trip?
It started off fine, but went downhill fast.
91. What name does Santa use to check-in at hotels on beach vacations?
Sandy Claus.
92. What kind of motorcycle does Santa like to ride?
A Holly Davidson.
93. What kind of drink does Santa give to naughty girls and boys?
Coal-a.
94. Why did Frosty ask for a divorce?
His wife was a total flake.
95. What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective?
Santa Clues.
96. Where do Santa’s reindeer stop for coffee?
Star-bucks.
97. What do you call Santa when he’s on a break?
A Santa pause.
98. What goes “Oh, Oh, Oh”?
Santa walking backwards.
99. Who gives baby sharks their presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws.
100. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted flakes.
101. What would Santa be called if he went down a chimney with the fire going?
Crisp Kringle.
102. What’s Santa’s favorite snack food?
Crisp Pringles.
103. Where does Santa stay on vacation?
A ho-ho-hotel.
104. What did one snowman say to the other?
Do you smell carrots?
105. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
An abdominal snowman.
106. What’s every elf’s favorite type of music?
Wrap.
107. What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
A Christmas Quacker.
108. Who is never hungry on Christmas Day?
The turkey—it’s stuffed.
109. What do you call a broke Santa Claus?
Saint-nickel-less.
110. What do reindeers say before they tell you a joke?
This one’s gonna sleigh you.
111. Did you hear about the snowman prom?
It was a snowball.
112. What did the ocean say when Santa flew over?
Nothing. It just waved.
113. What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
Tinsil-itis.
114. What’s a Christmas tree’s favorite candy?
Orna-mints.
115. What do you call a scary looking reindeer?
A cari-boo.
116. Why does The Grinch enjoy gardening?
He’s got a green thumb.
117. What did one of Santa’s helpers say to the other?
Let’s take an elfie.
118. Where does santa keep all his money?
At the snow bank.
119. Why does a broken drum make a good Christmas present?
It can’t be beat.
120. Where does Santa store his suit?
In his Claus-et.
121. What does Jack Frost like best about school?
Snow and tell.
122. What does the Queen call her Christmas Broadcast?
The One Show.
123. What do you call Santa living at the South Pole?
A lost clause.
124. What does Santa say on the night of Christmas?
Time to hit the sack.
125. What’s the most festive herb?
Christmas thyme&
126. What’s Santa’s favorite snack?
Crisp Pringles.
127. How does a gingerbread man get around with a broken leg?
He uses a candy cane.
128. Where do polar bears vote?
The North Poll.
129. What’s Santa’s go-to fast food order?
A frosty.
130. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
131. What does Rudolph want for Christmas?
A Pony sleigh station.
132. What was Santa’s favorite subject in school?
Chemis-tree.
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