Dad gives us unconditional love, support and guidance. They are the ones who always have their children’s best interests at heart, and they always strive to provide them with the best possible life. But when we talk about dad jokes, they are not only hilarious but can also bring the whole family together in Laughter. From classic puns to witty one-liners, these jokes are perfect for making your family smile.
We all know the classic old dialogue that Laughter is the best medicine. And we all agree with that. From TV shows to social media, jokes are everywhere. But nothing can bring a family together more than a good dad joke.
Here we’ve compiled the list of best Dad Jokes that will bring a smile to your dad’s face and make your whole family laugh hard. So scroll down and see what we’ve got you covered.
Best Dad Jokes
1. What do scholars eat when they’re hungry?
Academia nuts.
2. What’s a sea monster’s favorite lunch?
Fish and ships.
3. What kind of noise does a witch’s vehicle make?
Brrrroooom, brrroooom.
4. What do you call a fibbing cat?
A lion.
5. How do you measure the mass of an influencer’s following?
By Instagrams.
6. I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn’t like it.
7. Where do young trees go to learn?
Elementree school.
8. How do you talk to a giant?
You use big words.
9. I’m so good at sleeping that I do it with my eyes closed.
10. What kind of milk comes from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
11. What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer.
12. How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
13. If a child refuses to nap, are they guilty of resisting a rest?.
14. How can you tell if a tree is a dogwood tree?
By its bark.
15. Why are piggy banks so wise?
They’re filled with common cents.
16. What did the two pieces of bread say on their wedding day?
It was loaf at first sight.
17. Have you heard about the chocolate record player?
It sounds pretty sweet.
18. How do you make a Kleenex dance?
Put some boogie in it.
19. Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.
20. How do you stop a bull from charging?
Cancel its credit card.
21. Did you know corduroy pillows are in style?
They’re making headlines.
22. How do you deal with a fear of speed bumps?
You slowly get over it.
23. What did the banana say to the boy?
Nothing, bananas can’t talk.
24. What do you call an angry musician flipping someone off?
A song bird.
25. I tried to get a smart car the other day but they sold out too fast. Why?
I guess I’m just a bit slow.
26. What kind of car does a sheep like to drive?
A lamborghini.
27. Why did the picture go to prison?
Because it was framed.
28. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
29. What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common?
They’re both Paris sites.
30. If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?”.
31. A cheese factory exploded in France. Da brie is everywhere.
32. How do you make 7 even?
Take away the s.
33. Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 ate nine.
34. What does the stork do once he’s delivered the baby? He lies on the couch and drinks a beer.
35. What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday. All the others are weekdays.
36. Wanna hear a joke about paper?
Never mind. It’s tearable.
37. Why did the football coach go to the bank?
To get his quarter back.
38. What’s a foot long and slippery?
A slipper.
39. What’s a crafty dancer’s favorite hobby?
Cutting a rug.
40. How do lawyers say goodbye?
We’ll be suing ya.
41. If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims.
42. What does a nosey pepper do?
It gets jalapeño business.
43. Air used to be free at the gas station, now it costs 2.50. You want to know why?
Inflation.
44. It really takes guts to be an organ donor.
45. I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I’ll let you know.
46. Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like, 0mg.
47. How does a lawyer say goodbye?
I’ll be suing ya.
48. Why did the orange lose the race?
It ran out of juice.
49. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
Supplies.
50. How do you throw a party in outer space?
You planet.
51. What do houses wear?
An address.
52. Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use a honeycomb.
53. How many apples grow on a tree?
All of them.
54. What’s the least-spoken language in the world?
Sign language.
55. I’d avoid the sushi if I were you. It’s a little fishy.
56. How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
57. Why did the math book look so sad?
Because of all of its problems.
58. What do you call a hippie’s wife?
Mississippi.
59. What do you call a fish with no eye?
A fsh.
60. I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know.
61. What did the zero say to the eight?
That belt looks good on you.
62. I’m so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.
63. What did one hat say to the other?
Stay here! I’m going on ahead.
64. Why did the bedding hide their relationship?
They just wanted something pillow-key.
65. Did you hear about the circus fire?
It was in tents.
66. Why did the man fall down the well?
Because he couldn’t see that well.
67. Why was the broom late to class?
It over-swept.
68. Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
They’d crack each other up.
69. I’m reading an anti-gravity book. I can’t put it down.
70. What do you call a pudgy psychic?
A four-chin teller.
71. How do you follow Will Smith in the Mud?
Follow the fresh prints.
72. What do you call a pony with a sore throat?
A little hoarse.
Funny Dad Jokes
73. Why is cold water so insecure?
Because it’s never called hot.
74. Where do polar bears keep their money?
The snow bank.
75. What did the flowers do when the bride walked down the aisle? They rose.
76. Why was the color green notoriously single?
It was always so jaded.
77. Shouldn’t the “roof” of your mouth actually be called the ceiling?.
78. When does a joke become a “dad joke?” When it becomes apparent.
79. What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?
Sneakers.
80. Spring is here! I got so excited I wet my plants.
81. What kind of drink can be bitter and sweet?
Reali-tea.
82. Which state has the most streets?
Rhode Island.
83. What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
84. How does a penguin build his house?
Igloos it together.
85. What do you give a sick lemon?
Lemon-aid.
86. What has ears but cannot hear?
A cornfield.
87. How can you tell it’s a dogwood tree?
By the bark.
88. Dad, can you put the cat out?
I didn’t know it was on fire.
89. What do you call someone with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
90. What kind of car does an egg drive?
A yolkswagen.
91. What is the most popular fish in the ocean?
A starfish.
92. What do you call a funny mountain?
Hill-arious.
93. What’s Forrest Gump’s password?
1forrest1.
94. What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?
An irrelephant.
95. Where do boats go when they’re sick?
To the boat doc.
96. Where do fruits go on vacation?
Pear-is.
97. Did you hear the rumor about butter?
Well, I’m not going to go spreading it.
98. Stop looking for the perfect match…use a lighter.
99. What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator.
100. It takes guts to be an organ donor.
101. I hated facial hair but then it grew on me.
102. How do astronomers organize a party?
They planet.
103. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two tired.
104. What does garlic do when it gets hot?
It takes its cloves off.
105. What time did the man go to the dentist?
Tooth hurt-y.
106. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
He was outstanding in his field.
107. Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.
108. Can February March?
No, but April May.
109. What gets wetter the more it dries?
A towel.
110. I’m starting a new dating service in Prague. It’s called Czech-Mate.
111. What’s brown and sticky?
A stick.
112. I told my doctor I heard buzzing, but he said it’s just a bug going around.
113. How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it.
114. Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he Neverlands.
115. Why can’t a leopard hide?
He’s always spotted.
116. What’s 90 degrees but covered with ice?
The North and South Poles.
117. What do clouds wear?
Thunderwear.
118. Why is it a bad idea to iron your four-leaf clover?
Cause you shouldn’t press your luck.
119. What rock group has four men that don’t sing?
Mount Rushmore.
120. You can’t trust atoms. They make up everything.
121. Where do you learn to make a banana split?
Sundae school.
122. When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent.
123. I asked my dog what’s two minus two. He said nothing.
124. What did the policeman say to his belly button?
You’re under a vest.
125. Try the seafood diet—you see food, then you eat it.
Hilarious Dad Jokes
126. What did one wall say to the other?
I’ll meet you at the corner.
127. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
Great food, no atmosphere.
128. What do you call a pencil with two erasers?
Pointless.
129. How many telemarketers does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but he has to do it during dinner.
130. What did the sink tell the toilet?
You look flushed.
131. What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account?
Prime mates.
132. Did you hear the rumor about butter?
Well, I’m not going to spread it.
133. What does a bee use to brush its hair?
A honeycomb.
134. What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast.
135. Why did the coach go to the bank?
To get his quarterback.
136. What do you call a poor Santa Claus?
St. Nickel-less.
137. My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.
138. Why do trees seem suspicious on sunny days?
They just seem a little shady.
139. Why can’t your hand be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
140. What key is used to open bananas?
A mon-key.
141. If the early bird gets the worm, I’ll sleep in until there’s pancakes.
142. Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
Because they’re so good at it.
143. What’s a tornado’s favorite game?
Twister.
144. Why are elevator jokes so classic and good?
They work on many levels.
145. What did one plate whisper to the other plate?
Dinner is on me.
146. How do you make 7 even?
You take away the s.
147. What do Santa’s elves listen to ask they work?
Wrap music.
148. What has more letters than the alphabet?
The post office.
149. Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work.
150. How do you get a squirrel to like you?
Act like a nut.
151. Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
If they flew over the bay, they would be bagels.
152. What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.
153. If you see a crime at an Apple Store, does that make you an iWitness?
154. I slept like a log last night. Woke up in the fireplace.
155. How do you get a country girl’s attention?
A tractor.
156. Which bear is the most condescending?
A pan-duh.
157. What do you call a shoe made of a banana?
A slipper.
158. What do you call a fancy fish?
So-fish-ticated.
159. What do you call a beehive without an exit?
Unbelievable.
160. Wanna hear a joke about paper?
Never mind—it’s tearable.
161. Why do some couples go to the gym?
Because they want their relationship to work out.
162. Why are fish so smart?
They live in schools.
163. Where do boats go when they’re sick?
To the dock.
164. What’s the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament?
Live stream.
165. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese.
166. Two guys walked into a bar. The third guy ducked.
167. I want to make a brief joke, but it’s a little cheesy.
168. What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?
Where’s popcorn?.
169. What do you call a toothless bear?
A gummy bear.
170. What does “Rockin’ Robin” do when she’s bored?
Tweet.
171. How you fix a broken pumpkin?
With a pumpkin patch.
172. What does a sprinter eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast.
173. How do you follow Will Smith in the snow?
You follow the fresh prints.
174. Why was the stadium so hot after the game?
Because all the fans left.
175. How do you make an octopus laugh?
With ten-tickles.
176. I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I’ll let you know.
177. What is the tallest building in the world?
The library—it’s got the most stories.
178. Why do vampires always seem sick?
They’re coffin.
179. Why is Peter Pan always flying?
He neverlands.
180. What type of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree.
181. What’s Forrest Gump’s password?
1forrest1.
182. What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
183. What kind of shoes does a lazy person wear?
Loafers.
184. Why did Billy get fired from the banana factory?
He kept throwing away the bent ones.
185. Why don’t pirates take a bath before they walk the plank?
They just wash up on shore.
186. Why are pigs so bad at sports?
They always hog the ball.
Corny Dad Jokes
187. How does a hurricane see?
With one eye.
188. Why were the utensils stuck together?
They were spooning.
189. How do celebrities stay cool?
They have many fans.
190. How do you get a good price on a sled?
You have toboggan.
191. Did you hear the one about the roof?
Never mind, it’s over your head.
192. My dad told me a joke about boxing. I guess I missed the punch line.
193. Why is no one friends with Dracula?
He’s a pain in the neck.
194. What’s brown and sticky?
A stick.
195. I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you didn’t like it.
196. Wanna hear a joke about construction?
I’m still workin’ on it.
197. Why shouldn’t you tell an egg a joke?
It’ll crack up.
198. What kind of music do chiropractors like?
Hip pop.
199. What kind of cars do eggs drive?
Yolkswagens.
200. Why do dogs float in water?
Because they are good buoys.
201. I have a great joke about nepotism.
But I’ll only tell it to my kids.
202. What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts?
A barberqueue.
203. How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
204. How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.
205. Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
Of course, houses can’t jump.
206. What’s ET short for?
Because he’s only got tiny legs.
207. I could tell a joke about pizza, but it’s a little cheesy.
208. I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
209. I once had a dream I was floating in an ocean of orange soda. It was more of a fanta sea.
210. I’m afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.
211. What do you call a factory that makes okay products?
A satisfactory.
212. What’s a ninja’s favorite type of shoes?
Sneakers.
213. I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
214. Do you wanna box for your leftovers?
No, but I’ll wrestle you for them.
215. How does a taco say grace?
Lettuce pray.
216. What do you call 26 letters that went for a swim?
Alphawetical.
217. Why can’t you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom?
Because the ‘P’ is silent.
218. Dad, did you get a haircut?
No, I got them all cut.
219. What do you call a factory that sells passable products?
A satisfactory.
220. What’s the name of a very polite, European body of water?
Merci.
221. What’s the most detail-oriented ocean?
The Pacific.
222. The wedding was so beautiful, even the cake was in tiers.
223. What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck.
224. Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?
He couldn’t see himself doing it.
225. What do you call a hot dog on wheels?
Fast food.
226. What state is known for its small drinks?
Minnesota.
227. What happened when the blue ship and the red ship collided at sea?
Their crews were marooned.
228. What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?
Sofishticated.
229. What did the accountant say while auditing a document?
This is taxing.
230. Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers?
They say he made a mint.
231. What did the plumber say to the singer?
Nice pipes.
232. Where do math teachers go on vacation?
Times Square.
233. I don’t trust those trees. They seem kind of shady.
234. Where do you learn all about ice cream?
Sundae school.
235. What did the nose tell the finger?
Stop picking on me.
236. A skeleton walks into a bar and says, ‘Hey, bartender. I’ll have one beer and a mop.
237. What did Baby Corn say to Mama Corn?
Where’s Pop Corn?”.
238. I tell dad jokes, but I don’t have any kids. I’m a faux pa.
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