1. “That’s all! You and me, go.” – Joe Dirt
2. “Things get the darkest before dawn.” – Joe Dirt
3. “Right on. You’re Joe Meteorite and I’m Joe Dirt.” – Joe Dirt
4. “Things are gonna happen to me, I’m Joe Dirt.” – Joe Dirt
5. “He’ll stop humping as soon as he’s done.” – Miss Clipper
6. “Is this where you want to be when Jesus returns?” – Joe Dirt
7. “Why don’t you practice fallin down, I’ll be there in a minute.” – Joe Dirt
8. “What’s the deal with your hair? You doing stunt work for Billy Ray Cyrus?” – Zander Kelly
9. “There are three rules when dealing with a deadly crocodile. Rule number one, I’m number one. Rule number two, the croc’s number two.” – Joe Dirt
10. “Things darken before dawn.” – Joe Dirt
11. “Keep on, keepin’ on.” – Joe Dirt
12. “Lose that frown. When you’re down, stare at a clown,” — Joe’s Mom
13. “Life is a garden, dig it.” – Joe Dirt
14. “So, what you’re telling me, is that you’re so ingrained with White Trash, that your facial hair just grows in all white trashy like that?” – Zander Kelly
15. “Life is too short to waste doing nothing, make every day count because we all don’t know when we will leave this world.” – Joe Dirt
16. “My name is Joe Dirt, I added an e at the end because it sounds good.” – Joe Dirt
17. “You can’t have “no” in your heart. “No” is not an option, brother.” – Joe Dirt
18. “Well, that might be your problem. It’s not what you like. It’s the consumer.” – Joe Dirt
19. “Magnificent Marches Phrases related to Welcome to Spring” – Joe Dirt
20. “Life’s a garden, dig it.” – Joe Dirt
21. “And you’ll be sticking your head out the window and check out chic dogs saying ‘what’s up, baby?’” – Joe Dirt
22. “Might as well ask why is a tree good? Why’s a sunset good? Why are boobs good?” – Joe Dirt
23. “If my calculations are correct, this will create ice… oh no, killer mustard gas.” – Joe Dirt
24. “Is this where you wanna be when Jesus comes back?” – Joe Dirt
25. “I got the poo on me.” – Joe Dirt
26. “You want me to put my ear to the ground and listen for hoofbeats, check for footprints, look for broken twigs? This is the modern era. That stuff doesn’t work anymore.” – Kicking Wing
27. “His name’s Rocky and he ain’t no puppy.” – Joe Dirt
28. “Touch the exact subject. You are Joe Meteorite and I am Joe Dirt.” – Joe Dirt
29. “Here on earth, we call this place a ‘town.’ A ‘town’ is a place where everyone hates you.” – Joe Dirt
30. “Lose that frown. When you’re down, watch a clown, Joe’s mother” – Joe Dirt
31. “When bad pets go bad, dang.” – Joe Dirt
32. “Now, this ain’t no flapjack. I’ll go real easy. I won’t look.” – Joe Dirt
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