170 Funny Yearbook Quotes That Are Hilarious to Read

1. “That wasn’t like High School Musical at all.” – Seth Egan

2. “Shoot for the moon; if you miss you will die in space, which is cool.” – Katya Zamolodchikova

3. “It’s not about ideas. It’s about making ideas happen.” – Scott Belsky

4. “If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito.” – Bette Reese

5. “I’m actually not funny, I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.”

6. “I encourage you to live with life. Be courageous, adventurous. Give us a tomorrow, more than we deserve.” – Maya Angelou

7. “The roof is not my son, but I will raise it.”

8. “When life shuts the door, open it back up. That’s how doors work.” – Diana Lopez

9. “I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. ”― W.C. Fields

10. “My mom should have swallowed me.” – Ty

11. “In my yearbook, they should have a category for ‘Most Likely to Survive on Ramen Noodles.’” ― Mindy Kaling

12. “It will take a nation of millions to hold me back.”

13. “I’m not great at senior quotes. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?” – Alexis

14. “My computer screen is brighter than my future.”

15. “I am not Hispanic, I’m Asian.” – Stacey Nicole Diaz

16. “In the yearbook of life, I’m the ‘Class Clown,’ and I’ve got the photo to prove it.” – Conan O’Brien

17. “Don’t let anyone steal your dream. It’s your dream, not theirs.” – Dan Zadra

18. “I Went Through Four Years Of High School Without Having Bad Hair Day” ― Julianna Massa

19. “Greg just stole my girl.’ – Everyone”

20. “I made it through high school by the grace of caffeine and a whole lot of luck.” – Emma Stone

21. “You Got To Enjoy The Little Things In Life, Like Blowing Bubbles.” – Noah

22. “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison

23. “Who needs a degree when you’re schoolin’ life?” — Beyoncé

24. “Master has given Megan a high school diploma, Megan is freeeee!” – Megan

25. I learned more from Google than I did from this school, but at least the yearbook photos are memorable.” – Mark Zuckerberg

26. “Cheers to all my haters! Be patient. So much more is coming.” – Paris Hilton

27. “In this life we cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love.” – Mother Teresa

28. “Life is like a rollercoaster. Just when you think you’re on top, you go flying back down and someone pukes on you.” – Jenna Mourey

29. “If we’ve laughed too hard, offended too many people—we’ve done it right“ – Alexis Bass

30. “If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.” – Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

31. “I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at 4:00 in the afternoon, I’d be a college graduate today.” – George Foreman

32. “The old rules are crumbling and nobody knows what the new rules are. So make up your own rules.” – Neil Gaiman

33. “Shutting up, sir.” – Star Wars: A New Hope (1977)

34. “If you like water, you already like 72% of me.”

35. “Education is important, but big biceps are important.”

36. “It’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.”― Lewis Carroll

37. “Focus more on your desire than on your doubt, and the dream will take care of itself.” – Mark Twain

38. “If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere.” – Frank A. Clark

39. “The road to success is always under construction.” – Lily Tomlin

40. “Eagles may soar in the clouds, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines.”

41. “I am not Amith. I am a legend.” – Amith M.

42. “I Started High School With Straight A’s, Now I’m Not Even Straight” ― Amberlyn Murray

43. “Show me the money!” – Jerry Maguire, 1996

44. “See kids… I told you your mom was hot back in high school.” – Paulyn Trinh

45. “The important thing to remember is not to forget.” – Benny Bellamacina

46. “Whatever it is, I didn’t do it.”

47. “Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” – Robin Williams

48. “In this photo, I’m not wearing pants.”

49. “Trapped in yearbook factory, send help.”

50. “I don’t need a piece of paper saying I succeeded. I just need food.” – Shane Dawson

51. “It only takes one extra something! To get you to where you trying to get to!” — Eric Thomas

52. “If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.” – Milton Berle

53. “… was released from his four-year sentence.” – Faizon Graham

54. “No, I did not have a farm.” – Joe McDonald

55. “You can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.” – Jim Carrey

56. “Don’t follow your dreams, follow my Twitter: [insert Twitter handle].”

57. “There are no regrets in life. Just lessons.” – Jennifer Aniston

58. “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.” – Steve Jobs

59. “Shoot for the moon; if you miss you will die in our space, which is cool.” – Katya Zamolodchikova

60. “Yo yearbook. I’mma let you finish, but my junior year photo was the best photo of all time!” — Kanye West

61. “Don’t compare yourself with anyone else in the world. If you do so you are insulting yourself.” – Bill Gates

62. “Start today follow your heart. Map out your own journey. Have the adventure of a lifetime.” – Melody Beattie

63. “It’s not enough that I should succeed – others should fail.” – Kevin Chang

64. “Each year at graduation, I am obliged to offer a few “brief remarks,” which are usually not as brief as they should be.” – James E. Ryan

65. “Of course I dress well. I didn’t spend all that time in the closet for nothing.” – Ian Longley

66. “To all the teachers that never thought me a thing…” ― Julia Simsuangco

67. “It is difficult to steer a parked car, so get moving.” – Henrietta Mears

68. “Waking up is the second hardest thing in the morning.” – Connor Hart

69. “I used to be a straight A student, now I’m not even straight.” – Martin Sanchez

70. “I’ve spent four years preparing for the real world, but I still don’t know how to do taxes.” – John Oliver

71. “If you can’t find me in the yearbook, look for the person with the most coffee stains on their senior photo.” – Hugh Jackman

72. “Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.” – Mark Twain

73. “The future depends on what you do today.” – Gandhi

74. “Nothing in this world is impossible to a willing heart.” – Abraham Lincoln

75. “I’ve been a Ho all my life.” – Michelle Ho

76. “You’re all gonna regret not dating me in high school.” – Jocelyn Madero

77. “I was the Beyoncé in a school full of Michelles.” – Jose Alvarez

78. “Dreams have only one owner at a time. That’s why dreamers are lonely.” – Erma Bombeck

79. “It’s like a pirate had a baby with an angel.” – Avengers: Infinity War (2018)

80. “To the window… To the wall…“ – Abbigail and Tory

81. “I never forget a face—but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.” – Groucho Marx

82. “I’m that Nigerian Prince that keeps emailing you.”

83. “Showing up is 80 percent of life.” – Woody Allen

84. “Never think you have reached success for when you do then you start the slide down.” – Catherine Pulsifer

85. If my yearbook quote were any funnier, I’d have to pay a laughter tax.” – Jeff Bezos

86. If there was a yearbook award for ‘Most Likely to Use Sarcasm as a Second Language,’ I’d win, hands down.” – Ryan Reynolds

87. “Perfection is not attainable. But if we chase perfection, we can catch excellence.” – Vince Lombardi

88. “This life’s hard, but it’s harder if you’re stupid.”― George V. Higgins

89. “Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?” – Jessica Enciso

90. “I’m sorry, did my shoulders distract you from reading this quote?“ – Victoria DiPaolo

91. “Some students drink at the fountain of knowledge.” – E.C. McKenzie

92. “I cheated on all my exams.” – Roshan McGuinness

93. “You become what you believe. You are where you are today in your life based on everything you have believed.” – Oprah Winfrey

94. “Do a little more each day than you think you possibly can.” – Lowell Thomas

95. “You must be the change you want to see in the world.” – Gandhi.

96. “Minds are like parachutes — they only function when open.” – Thomas Dewar

97. “The only thing you can do in this life is pursue your passions, celebrate your bloopers and never stop following your fear.” – Grace Helbig

98. “All three years of high school, I had my earphones on, and no one ever knew.” – Amena Al-shugaa

99. “You shall not pass!….But I did.” – Jucinda

100. “Life is ten percent what happens to you and ninety percent how you respond to it.” – Charles Swindoll

101. “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know if you’re gonna graduate.” – Franco Citlalli

102. In the yearbook of life, my chapter would be called ‘Most Likely to Laugh at My Own Jokes.’” ― Kevin Hart

103. “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know if you’re gonna graduate.“ – Franco Citlalli

104. “So you’re telling me there’s a chance…” – Dumb and Dumber, 1994

105. “Be careful who you call crazy. Some of us think it’s a compliment.” – Marilynn Dawson

106. “I get butterflies when I think of myself.”

107. “It’s not what you’ve got, it’s what you use, that makes a difference in how your life turns out.” – Zig Ziglar

108. “See kids? I told you I was sexy in high school.”

109. “Never miss a good chance to shut up.” – Will Rogers

110. “I hate my name.” – Carlos Carlos

111. “’Put something inspirational.’ – Mom”

112. “The problem with a life spent reading is you know too much.” – Josh Lanyon

113. “I don’t always graduate, but when I do, it’s barely.” – Hannah Goldsborough

114. “Take pride in how far you’ve come. Have faith in how far you can go. But don’t forget to enjoy the journey.” – Michael Josephson

115. “Dreams don’t work unless you do.” – John C. Maxwell

116. “It’s hard being a single mother, especially when you have no children and are a teenage male.” – Zachary Chastain

117. “The smell of your weird is totally affecting my vocal cords.” – Bumper Allen, Pitch Perfect

118. “My senior year of high school, I was voted ‘Wittiest.’” ― Barbara Park

119. “Arguing with a fool proves there are two.” – Doris M. Smith

120. “The difference between try and triumph is a little umph.” – Marvin Phillips

121. “Should’ve burned this place down when I had the chance.” – Michael Scott

122. “Education is not preparation for life; education is life itself.” – John Dewey

123. “I’m in a glass case of emotion!” —Will Ferrell, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

124. “Four year later and I’m still an idiot, thanks for nothing.”

125. “Never memorize something that you can look up.”― Albert Einstein

126. “I love mankind … it’s people I can’t stand!!”― Charles M. Schulz

127. “Education is important but big biceps are importanter.” – Eric Gomez

128. “Let us make our future now, and let us make our dreams tomorrow’s reality.” – Malala Yousafzai

129. “I got kicked out of Hogwarts for using black magic.” – Damian sparks

130. “The only reason I went to school all this time is to distract myself from the fact that I’ll never be Beyoncé.” – McKenzie Ward

131. “There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.” – C.S. Lewis

132. “There are no traffic jams along the extra mile.” – Roger Staubach

133. “I want abs…olutely all the pasta and breadsticks.”

134. “I did my waiting! 12 years of it! In Azkaban.” – Sirius Black

135. “When I die, I want the people I did group projects with to lower me into the ground so they can let me down. One last time.” – Jenna Allen

136. “Your destiny is the story of your life, and you get to tell the story your way.” – Scott Allan

137. “The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective.” – Jon Stewart

138. “Should have burned this place down when I had the chance.” – Michael Scott

139. “If I can graduate with over 150 absences throughout high school, you can too.” – Natalie Turk

140. “If you’re reading this, future me, put down this book and do something more productive.”

141. “A person with a sharp tongue will eventually cut themselves.” – J. Robson Koenig

142. “Don’t ever confuse the two, your life and your work. The second is only part of the first.” – Anna Quindlen

143. “I spent 113,880 hours of my life for a paper and a handshake.”

144. “An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

145. “Yes, that is my actual last name.” – Christopher Gaylord

146. “Every tongue that rises up against me shall fall!!!!” — Rihanna

147. “If idiots could fly, this place would be an airport.”

148. “Help is on the way, dear!” – Mrs. Doubtfire (1993)

149. “I’m sorry that everyone is so jealous of me, but I can’t help it that I’m so popular.” – Gretchen Weiners

150. “Biology gives you a brain. Life turns it into a mind.” – Jeffrey Eugenides

151. “What is this? A school for ants?” — Derek Zoolander, Zoolander

152. “I want to thank Google, Wikipedia, and to whoever invented copy and past. Thank you.”

153. “I Had To Put My Grades Up For Adoption Because I Couldn’t Raise Them” ― Irfan Imthias

154. “School pictures are everything to me. They’re great practice for the paparazzi.” – Rachel Berry

155. “Whoever said orange is the new pink was seriously disturbed.” – Elle Woods, Legally Blonde

156. “Anything is possible when you sound caucasian on the phone.” – Betshina Bernier

157. “Seek to understand before you seek to be understood.” – Stephen Covey

158. “Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep.” – Carl Sandburg

159. “They asked me to write something. So here it is something.”

160. “Honestly, I didn’t expect most of you to make it this far.”

161. “The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.” – Doug Larson

162. “If at first you don’t succeed, try to hide your astonishment.” – Harry Banks

163. “The ‘s’ is silent.” – Pareekshit Ravi

164. “Remember…The more you weigh the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe…eat cake.”

165. “Cheaters never win, but I just graduated.”

166. “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” – Steve Martin

167. High school: where you learn about Pythagoras but not how to do taxes.” – Jimmy Fallon

168. “Remember, yearbooks are like diamonds – forever and forever embarrassing.” – Amy Poehler

169. “I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.” – Michael Scott

170. “What if one day you woke up and you were a chicken nugget.”

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