70+ Best Ricky Bobby Quotes From Talladega Nights

1. “I’m just a big hairy American winning machine. If you ain’t first, you’re last.”

2. “Well, let me just quote the late-great Colonel Sanders, who said”… “I’m too drunk to taste this chicken.” – Ricky Bobby

3. “I’m the best there is. Plain and simple. I mean I wake up in the morning, I piss excellence.” – Ricky Bobby

4. “No ma’am. I haven’t seen my daddy in years. But my mama says he’s out racing cars and, well, dipping his wick in anything that moves.” – Ricky Bobby

5. “Abracadabra, homes“ – Ricky Bobby

6. “Losing is never fun, but here’s a little something to keep your spirits up. It’s real nice. I got it at Target. It’s on sale.” – Ricky Bobby

7. “My friends and I skipped school, and we filled up a cup of pee and tried to get our neighbor’s dog to drink it. But he wouldn’t.” – Walker

8. “See you when you’re grown up.” – Ricky Bobby

9. “Now, there’s nothing like driving to avoid jail. Nothing hones your mind and your instincts like necessity.” – Ricky Bobby

10. “It’s real nice. I got it at Target. It’s on sale.” – Ricky Bobby

11. “Man, what the hell are you talking about?” – Ricky Bobby

12. “It’s the fastest who gets paid and it’s the fastest who gets laid.” – Ricky Bobby

13. “You gotta learn to drive with the fear, and there ain’t nothing more goddamn frightening than driving with a live cougar in the car.” – Ricky Bobby

14. “I’m not sure what to do with my hands.” – Ricky Bobby

15. “By defeating me today, you have set me free.” – Ricky Bobby

16. “I feel like I was riding inside an asteroid or a comet or something.” – Ricky Bobby

17. “Why did you stop the jazz music? Was it not pleasant for you?“

18. “Oh hey, I’m Ricky Bobby.” – Ricky Bobby

19. “Hey, I don’t know why I am talking to you. Do you remember that I hate you?“

20. “I don’t know what that means, but I LOVE it.” – Texas Ranger

21. “Why the hell am I even talking to you anyway?” – Ricky Bobby

22. “ANARCHY! ANARCHY.” – Walker

23. “I came here to tell you one thing: come race time tomorrow, I’m coming for you.” – Ricky Bobby

24. “Holding hands with a man makes me terribly uncomfortable.” – Ricky Bobby

25. “And now the matador shall dance with the blind shoemaker.” – Ricky Bobby

26. “I’m going fast.”

27. “Got more plugs in him than a Circuit City.” – Ricky Bobby

28. “Because I like to party.” – Ricky Bobby

29. “You have spilled my macchiato.” – Ricky Bobby

30. “I get emotional. You guys are workin’ so hard, and I’m just so proud of you. You remind me of me, precocious and full of wonderment.” – Ricky Bobby

31. “Yep, I’m flying through the air. This is not good.” – Ricky Bobby

32. “What’s implication mean?“

33. “Cal, that is a new house! It just has a lot of creaks and moans and groans in it.” – Ricky Bobby

34. “Here’s the deal. I’m the best there is. Plain and simple. I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.” – Ricky Bobby

35. “Old man, I’m gonna come at you like a spider monkey.” – Texas Ranger

36. “You gotta win to get love. Everyone knows that. I mean that’s just life.” – Ricky Bobby

37. “Down, Karen! Get down! Get down, Karen!“ – Ricky Bobby

38. “I wanna go fast. I wanna go fast.” – Ricky Bobby

39. “Golly, this is a hard decision, but I have thought about it, and I want the plug pulled.” – Ricky Bobby

40. “I’ll hold your hair.” – Ricky Bobby

41. “Where are you, Pepé Le Bitch?” – Ricky Bobby

42. “I’d love to sign your baby.” – Ricky Bobby

43. “My head’s all tied up like a pretzel. I got a pretzel in my head.” – Ricky Bobby

44. “I felt like I was on a spaceship.” – Ricky Bobby

45. “I wanna go fast!” – Ricky Bobby

46. “I will let you go, Ricky, but first I want you to say, ‘I love crepes.’“

47. “You don’t understand. You don’t understand because you don’t understand liberty. You don’t understand freedom.” – Ricky Bobby

48. “No one lives forever, no one. But with advances in modern science and my high-level income, it’s not crazy to think I can live to be 245, maybe 300.” – Ricky Bobby

49. “I’m the Magic Man now.” – Ricky Bobby

50. “I like to party, so I like my Jesus to party.” – Ricky Bobby

51. “I think what you are hearing is my accent.” – Ricky Bobby

52. “I’m embarrassed. I really thought I could feel it.” – Ricky Bobby

53. “Your injury is one of ignorance and pride.” – Ricky Bobby

54. “You don’t drive with your eyes, you drive with your heart.” – Ricky Bobby

55. “How many more times you going to toss me the radio in the bathtub?“

56. “Oh, gooder than grits.” – Ricky Bobby

57. “Always remember, if you ain’t first, you’re last.” – Ricky Bobby

58. “Holy moly, that’s like lookin’ up Yasmine Bleeth’s skirt.” – Ricky Bobby

59. “This sticker is dangerous and inconvenient, but I do love Fig Newtons.” – Ricky Bobby

60. “God needs the devil. The Beatles needed the Rolling Stones. Even Diane Sawyer needed Katie Couric. Will you be my Katie Couric?“ – Ricky Bobby

61. “Now we shall dance, and yes, it will be a slow jam.” – Ricky Bobby

62. “I wanna go fast.” – Ricky Bobby

63. “I’ll just bury it down inside.” – Ricky Bobby

64. “Get back, I’ll windmill ya.” – Ricky Bobby

65. “Well, what do you say we get thrown out of an Applebee’s?“

66. “Dear 8-pound, 6-ounce newborn infant Jesus, don’t even know a word yet…” – Ricky Bobby

67. “Granny? How much longer are we gonna have to do this?” – Walker

68. “You better shut the hell up, or I’ll come over there and rip a hole in that tent.” – Texas Ranger

69. “I’m on fire!“ – Ricky Bobby

70. “You nailed that like a split hog.” – Ricky Bobby

71. “It’s in the Geneva Convention!“

72. “Health care systems, giant water parks. The same reason anyone comes to America.” – Ricky Bobby

Read More

Must Read

Related Articles