Whether it’s a joke about a cow tipping over or one about a moo-moving violation, cow jokes never fail to bring laughter and smiles to our faces. And they are an increasingly popular form of humour that people love to share with their friends and family.
They are funny, relatable and can be shared with anyone regardless of age or background. Also, sharing these jokes spark conversations about topics that may not usually be discussed, such as animal rights or environmental issues.
Here we’ve compiled a list of the best Cow Jokes that are a unique way of bringing laughter into your lives. So scroll down and see what we’ve got you covered.
Cow Jokes
1. What is a cow’s favorite newspaper?
The Daily Moos.
2. What did one dairy cow say to the other?
Got milk?
3. What do you call it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak-out.
4. What do cows say on a date?
I am udderly in love with you.
5. Why did the cow go to the spa?
She really needed some re-hoove-ination.
6. Why do cows have bells?
Because their horns don’t work.
7. How would you address the queen of cows?
Your Moojesty.
8. Where do Russian cows come from?
Mos-cow.
9. What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
10. What do you call a cow that can’t produce milk?
An udder failure.
11. What would feed a bratty cow?
Spoiled milk.
12. What do you call a sleeping cow?
A bull-dozer.
13. Where do cows eat lunch?
The calf-eteria.
14. What would you call a cow wearing armor?
Sir Loin.
15. Why do cows tell each other jokes?
To keep themselves a-moo-sed.
16. What do cows eat for breakfast?
Grass.
17. What do you use to count cows?
A cow-culator.
18. What do you call a cow with full armor?
Sir loin.
19. How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
20. Where do cows get all their medicine?
The farmacy.
21. What do you call a magic cow?
Moo-dini.
22. What do you get when a cow jumps on a trampoline?
A milkshake.
23. Can you make money owning cows?
Yes, I’ve herd it’s really profitable.
24. What did the coach say to the cows?
Now get out there and give me 2%.
25. Why did the cow ask for a telescope?
He wanted to see the Milky Way.
26. How did the farmer find the missing cow?
He tractor down.
27. What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?
It’s pasture bedtime.
28. Why are cows always broke?
Someone’s always milking them dry.
29. Why did the two cows not like each other?
They had beef.
30. Why can’t cows wear shoes?
Because they lactose.
31. How do cows introduce their wives?
Hey guys! Meat Patty.
32. What did the secret agent cow say to the other?
Are you udder cover?
33. Where will you find the most cows?
Moo York.
34. What happens when a cow has PMS?
It gets moo-dy.
35. What do you call a scared cow?
A cow-ard.
36. How did the cow get to the moon?
It went to udder space.
37. What do you call a cow in your backyard?
A lawn-mower.
38. Why do cows wear bells around their necks?
Their horns don’t work.
39. What does the cow band play?
Moo-sic.
40. Where did the bull lose all his money?
At the cow-sino.
41. What do cows say when they hear a bad joke?
I am not amoosed.
42. What do you call a cow that blends in with its surroundings?
Cow-moo-flauged.
43. Where did the cow spend all its money?
At the cow-sino.
44. What do you call a cow jumping on a trampoline?
A milkshake.
45. What did the cow say when the farmer pulled its tail?
How diary.
46. How do you make Swiss cheese?
Use milk from a holey cow.
47. Who’s in charge of the dairy operations?
The cow-ptain.
48. Why was the cow sad?
She was moo-dy.
49. Why did the cow want to get in the rocketship?
He wanted to go to udder space.
50. What do you call a cruel cow?
A de-moooon.
51. What do you call a cow on a bouncing castle?
A milkshake.
52. What do you get when you pamper a cow?
Spoiled milk.
53. Where do young cows eat lunch?
At the calf-eteria.
54. What do you call a group of cows with a sense of humor?
Laughing stock.
55. What do you get when you cross a cow and a rooster?
Roost beef.
56. Which cow is the best dancer?
The one with the best moooves.
57. What kind of shows do cows like best?
Moosicals.
58. What do you call a momma cow who’s just given birth?
Decalfinated.
59. What do you call a cow that eats grass?
A lawn-mooer.
60. What do you call a female cow?
Patty.
61. What did the cow say to its therapist?
I feel seen, but not herd.
62. What do you call a cow that drinks too much coffee?
Over-calfinated.
63. What has the lone cow been up to lately?
Nobody’s herd.
64. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
Because they lactose.
65. What does the farmer talk about while milking a cow?
Udder nonsense.
66. What math problems do cows like to solve?
Moo-tiplication problems.
67. How do dairy farmers do their taxes?
They go to an accountant.
68. What do you call a cow who just hit the lottery?
A cash cow.
69. What did one dairy cow say to the other?
Got milk?.
70. How do you count cows?
With a cow-culator.
71. What is a cow’s favorite newspaper?
The Daily Moos.
72. What do you a hurt cow?
Ow.
73. What do cows play at concerts?
Moo-sic.
74. Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
75. What do you call a sad cow?
Moo-dy.
76. Where would you find a cow who’s having a really bad day?
At McDonalds.
77. How do you know which cow is the best dancer?
See which one has the best moo-ves.
78. Why was the cow afraid to leave the barn?
Because he’s a cow-ard.
79. What animal goes “oom, oom”?
A cow walking backwards.
80. What do you get if you cross a cow and rooster?
Roost beef.
81. What does the farmer say to the cows at night?
It’s pasture bedtime.
82. You know what they say about cows?
They’re outstanding in their field.
83. Why are cows such great dancers?
They have all the best moooves.
84. Why can’t the bankrupt cowboy complain?
He got no beef.
85. What is a cow’s dream job?
Being an udder cover agent.
86. What happens when you try talking to a cow?
Everything just goes in one ear and out the udder.
87. Why did the cow look so confused?
He was having deja-moo.
88. Why are cows such awesome dancers?
They’ve got all the right moo-ves.
89. What kind of lunch meat do cows like best?
A bull-ogna.
90. How do you make a cow be quiet?
Press the moo-te button.
91. Where do cow farts come from?
Their dairy-ère.
92. What did the cow tell the butcher?
Please stop, or else we’re gonna have some beef.
93. What do cows read in the morning?
The moos-paper.
94. Why are cows so competitive?
Because the steaks are high.
95. What do you call a cow that can’t produce milk?
A milk dud.
96. What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
97. What does a cow say when he’s surfing?
Cow-a-bunga.
98. What do you call a cow that can’t make milk?
A milk dud.
99. What do you call a cow who can part water?
Moo-ses.
100. What is a cow’s favorite type of play?
A moo-sical.
101. How did the farmer find his lost cow?
He tractor down.
102. What is a cow’s favorite color?
Marooooooon.
103. Where do cows go to get their medicine?
The farm-acy.
104. What do you call a cow that talks to himself?
A solilocow.
105. What would you get if you milked a really forgetful cow?
Milk of Amnesia.
106. Why did the cow jump over the moon?
To get to the Milky Way.
107. What did the mother cow say to her calf?
It’s pasture bedtime.
108. Why did the farmer buy a brown cow?
He wanted chocolate milk.
109. Where would you find a cow with no legs?
Right where you left it.
110. Where do cows eat lunch?
In the calfeteria.
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