Whether it’s a dad telling his kids a joke before bedtime or a family gathering around the dinner table, pirate jokes can bring smiles to everyone’s faces. With their creative wordplay and witty punchlines, these jokes are full of wit and humour that can keep everyone entertained for hours.
Here we’ve compiled the list of 115+ Pirate Jokes that is best to lighten the mood at a party. So scroll down and see what we have here for you.
Pirate Jokes
1. What did the pirate wear on Halloween?
A pumpkin patch.
2. What do pirates wear when it gets really cold?
Long Johns.
3. What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of fish?
Swordfish.
4. What do you call a stupid pirate?
The pillage idiot.
5. What do pirates wear when it gets cold?
Arrr-gyle sweaters.
6. What do you call a pirate who has three eyes?
Piiirate.
7. Why don’t pirates like travelling on mountain roads?
S’curvy.
8. What is a Pirates favourite internet sensation?
Planking.
9. How did the pirate call his mate?
On his aye phone.
10. What kind of grades did the pirate get in school?
High Cs.
11. What happens if you take the p out of a pirate?
He becomes irate.
12. What does a pirate use to blow stuff up?
His M-80’s.
13. How many pirates does it take to change a lightbulb?
Pi-reight.
14. What’s a pirate’s favorite school subject?
Arrrrrr-t.
15. What do you call a pirate that’s very close by?
Buccanear.
16. Why can’t the pirates fire their weapons on Saturdays?
Because they only cannon Sundays.
17. How do pirates discipline their children?
Stern-ly.
18. What did the pirate say about his girlfriend?
“She had me at ‘Ahoy”.
19. What’s the name of the world’s most frugal pirate?
Barry D. Treasure.
20. What do you call a pirates sword that is completely blunt?
A cut-less.
21. How do you save a dying pirate?
CPARRRRR.
22. What do you call a selfish pirate?
Extremely arrrr-ogant.
23. What happened when Bluebeard fell overboard in the Red Sea?
He got marooned.
24. Why does the Captian sail a ship?
Because he let his car-go.
25. What do you call a pirate with three eyes?
Piiirate.
26. What do you call a pirate with 2 arms and 2 legs?
A beginner.
27. If a farmer has a cabbage patch, what does a pirate have?
An eye patch.
28. What does the pirate say when his leg gets stuck in the freezer?
Shiver me timbers.
29. What did the pirate’s landlord say when he was evicted?
Get out, you free-looter.
30. What would Santa say if he was a pirate?
Yo ho ho ho.
31. Who gets all their movies for free?
Pirates.
32. Why do you never ever see pirates crying?
They like their private-tears.
33. What’s the best secretariat job to have on a pirate ship?
The treasurer.
34. What’s a pirates favorite part of a song?
The hook.
35. What is it called when a pirate sets his own ship on fire?
Argh-son.
36. Why type of socks do pirates wear?
Arrrrgyle.
37. Why did the pirate go on holiday?
He was in serious need of some Aaaaaar and Aaaaaaar.
38. What’s the difference between a hungry pirate and a drunken pirate?
One has a rumbling tummy, and the other’s a tumbling rummy.
39. What is a pirate least favorite cardio exercise?
Planking.
40. What’s even more valuable than a television for pirates?
A telescope.
41. What would make pirates a more challenging opponent in a battle?
Arghmour.
42. Do pirates enjoy fighting?
Sword of.
43. What do pirates like to eat in the the summertime?
Barrr-becue.
44. What’s a pirates favourite part of a song?
The hook.
45. What do you call a pirate with no arms and no legs?
An expert pirate.
46. What do you call it when two pirates call it a draw?
A stale-matey.
47. What’s a pirates favourite fish dish?
Pieces of skate.
48. What did the pirate Santa Claus say?
Row, row, row.
49. What do you get if you cross a pirate and a tropical fruit?
Bandana.
50. What’s a pirate’s worst enemy?
Termites.
51. Why are pirates pirates?
Because they Arrrrrrgh.
52. How much did the pirate pay for his piercings?
A buck-an-ear.
53. Why did the pirate buy an eye patch?
Because he couldn’t afford an iPad.
54. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
55. What do you call a pirate who steals from the rich and gives to the poor?
Robin Hook.
56. What’s a pirate use his cell phone for?
Booty calls.
57. What do you call a pirate who likes to skip school?
Captain Hooky.
58. What do you call a pirate obsessed with drinking sea water?
An aqua-holic.
59. What did the first mate send down the toilet?
The Captain’s log.
60. Why’d the pirate join Gold’s Gym?
To improve his booty.
61. Where can you find a pirate who has lost his wooden legs?
Right where ye left him.
62. How do pirates weigh the anchor?
Using fish scales.
63. How did the pirate get his Jolly Roger so cheap?
He bought it on sail.
64. How did the pirate call his mate?
On his aye phone.
65. What’s a pirate’s least favorite veggie?
Leeks.
66. What did the pirate go on to do after he quit the job?
Become an arghchitect.
67. Why’d the pirate go to the Apple store?
He needed a new ipatch.
68. Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they can spend years at C.
69. Where do pirates go to get their fast food?
Arrrr-by’s.
70. What does a vegan pirate do in jail?
St-arrrrr-ve.
71. Why couldn’t the pirates play cards?
Because the captain was standing on the deck.
72. What does a dyslexic pirate say?
RRRRRRA.
73. When do pirates remove the anchor?
At the kraken of dawn.
74. What did the first mate see down the toilet?
The Captains log.
75. How do pirates know they exist?
They think, therefore they ARRRRRRR.
76. Why did you join a band of pirates?
Pier pressure.
77. What’s a pirate’s favorite exercise?
The plank.
78. How do you make a pirate very angry?
You take away the “p”.
79. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of exercise?
The plank.
80. What do pirates wear in the winter?
Long Johns.
81. Who gets all their movies for free?
Pirates.
82. How do pirates like to cook their steaks?
On a BAAAARRRRRBECUE.
83. What is even scarier to pirates than sharks?
Plank-ton.
84. What do you call a pirate with both eyes and all his limbs?
A rookie.
85. Where do pirates go for a drink?
The sandbar.
86. What is a pirates favourite doll?
BAAAAARRRRBIE.
87. Why did the pirate have to go to the apple store?
To get a new Ipatch.
88. What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of food?
BARRRR-B-Q.
89. Why did the pirate go to the Apple store?
He needed a new iPatch.
90. Where do pirates keep their valuables?
In a jarrrrr.
91. What’s a pirate’s favorite musical instrument?
The guit-arrrr.
92. How do pirates prefer to communicate?
Aye to aye.
93. What did the ocean say to the pirate?
Nothing, it just waved.
94. What’s a pirates favourite type of music?
Rum . Bass.
95. Why do pirates bury their treasure 18 inches under the ground?
Because booty is only shin deep.
96. Why don’t pirates go to strip clubs?
Because they already have all the booty.
97. What would you call a pirate with 4 eyes?
An iiiirate.
98. What’s a pirate’s favorite bird?
Jack Sparrow.
99. How do pirates communicate?
Aye to aye.
100. How much did the pirate pay for his peg and hook?
An arm and a leg.
101. How did the pirate get such a good price?
He bought it on sail.
102. Where do one-legged pirates go for brunch?
IHOP.
103. Why did the pirate go on vacation?
He needed a little arrrrg and arrrg.
104. What is a pirate’s favorite vegetable?
Arghtichokes.
105. What has 8 legs, 8 arms, and 8 eyes?
pirates.
106. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
107. What do pirates fear even more than walking down the plank?
Walking down the aisle.
108. What do you call a stupid pirate?
The pillage idiot.
109. What’s a pirate’s favorite camera brand?
Cannon.
110. What do you call 3.14 men out at sea?
‘Pi’-rates.
111. Where did the pirate purchase his hook?
At the 2nd hand store of course.
112. Why’d the pirate join the gym?
To improve his booty.
113. Why do pirates love binge-watching shows?
They get hooked.
114. Why did the alcoholic pirate stop drinking?
Because he’d rum out.
115. What do ye call a pirate with two eyes and two legs?
A rookie.
116. Why are pirates called pirates?
Because they arrrrr.
117. What do you call the happiest pirate around?
Jolly Rodger.
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