81+ Best Cow Puns to Make You Spit Up Your Milk

The cow is an animal that plays an important role in the world. They provide us with milk and cheese, a very important source of protein and calcium. It also helps maintain the fertility of the soil.

Here we’ve discovered some of the best and most hilarious Cow puns you’ll love. So scroll down and see what we’ve got you covered.

Best Cow Puns

1. How did the farmers find their lost cows? They tractor down.

2. Why do cows lie down in the rain? To keep each udder dry.

3. What happens when a cow jumps on a Trampoline? You get a milkshake!

4. Where did the bull lose all his money? At the cow-sino.

5. How do farmers count their cows? They use a cowculator.

6. To all of her buddies, what did the cow say? I’m legen-dairy.

7. Why was the Cow afraid? Because he was a Cow-herd.

8. What do you call a bull who is sleeping? A bull-dozer.

9. What do you get when you cross a cow and a smurf? Blue cheese.

10. Knock, Knock – Who’s there? – Candy – Candy, who? – Can-dy cow jump over the moon?

11. What do you call a cow that doesn’t give milk? A milk dud.

12. Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.

13. How did the cow learn he was a noble? He was Sir Loin.

14. What do you call a feminine cow? A dairy queen.

15. Why do cows wear bells? Their horns don’t work.

16. What did the one cow say to the other cow on the hill? I’m udder-neath you.

17. Why did the farmer lose the race? He fell at the curdle.

18. Why did the cow jump over the moon? To get to the milky way!

19. When a cow laughs, what happens? Milk comes out of her nose.

20. What will happen when all cows are let loose? It’ll be udder chaos.

21. Why did the farmer stop telling cow puns? Because he butchered every joke.

22. What does a cow says to her naughty calf? You’re not amoosing!

23. What did mother cow say to her pretty calf? You’re udderly cute.

24. What did the cow and bull do for their first date? Dinner and a moo-vie.

25. What do you call a cow who’s forgotten how to make milk? Udder-ly confused.

26. What draws cows to New York? The moosical!

27. What do you call a magic performing cow? Moo-dini

28. How did the cow get to Mars? It flew through udder space. “I totally udderstand.”

29. What did the police officer arrest the cow for? Disudderly conduct.

30. What do you call it when one cow spies on another cow? A steak out.

31. A cows favorite type of math is cowculus.

32. What do you get when a cow jumps in a trampoline? Milkshake.

33. What do you say to a stubborn cow? Moooove it or lose it!

34. What do you call a funny cow? A cowmedian.

35. I was going to tell you a joke about cows. But I bet you have herd it.

36. How do you keep the cow mute? By pressing mooote button.

37. What do you call a cow who jokes? Cowmedian.

38. What do you call a cow who has two legs? Lean beef!

39. What did the cow tell its counselor? I feel seen but not herd.

40. What newspaper does a cow prefer to read? The Daily Moos.

41. What do you call a cow who is eating grass? Lawn-mooer.

42. What did the mother cow say to the baby cow? It’s pasture bedtime.

43. What did the cow say to the other cow on the hill? I’m udder-neath you.

44. Cow telling her family history: “My grandfather was a knight. He was Sir Loin.”

45. How do cows go to Mars? By flying through udder space.

46. Sweden is not going to export any cattle since they like to keep the cattle in Stockholm.

47. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

48. What do you call a cow in a bad mood? Moody!

49. Why don’t cows have feet rather than hooves? They lactose.

50. What do you call a difficult cow? Tough bovine.

51. What do you call a happy cow? A jolly rancher.

52. What do you call a cow in an earthquake? A milkshake.

53. What did the Auntie cow say to her niece? You’re so udderly cute!

54. What do cows do at concerts? They play moo-sic.

55. Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the udder side!

56. Knock, Knock – Who’s there? – Cow says – Cow says who? – No, Cow says moo!

57. What do you call a female cow? A diary queen.

58. Why is it that Sweden doesn’t export cattle? It wants its Stock-home.

59. Knock, Knock – Who’s there? – Interrupting Cow – Interrupting cow…. – (interrupts MOOOOOO)

60. What kind of milk do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled Milk.

61. What do you call two ducks and a cow? Quackers and milk.

62. Why did the chicken walk under the cow? To get to the udder side.

63. Why don’t cows understand what you say? Because it goes in one ear and comes out the udder!

64. What ensues from breeding a dog with a cow? Hound beef.

65. Knock, Knock – Who’s there? – Cow – Cow who? – Cow much longer will you be outside the door?

66. What does a farmer talk about when she’s milking a cow? Udder nonsense.

67. When you go through these cow pans, you’ll get a feeling which is referred to as deja-mooo.

68. What did the cow say to all her friends? I am legen-dairy.

69. Why did the cow get a massage? To re-hoove-inate.

70. What did the farmer say when his cow wouldn’t produce milk? This is udderly problematic!

71. What do you call a cow who twitches? Beef jerky.

72. What does a spying cow do? They steak out.

73. What results from breeding a rooster with a cow? Roost beef.

74. How can you make a cow invisible? By camooflaging!

75. Why was the cow afraid? He was a cow-herd.

76. Why does a milking stool only have three legs? Because the cow has the udder.

77. What’s a cow’s favorite sci-fi TV show? Dr. Moo!

78. Where do cows get their medication from? Farmacy.

79. What do you call a short cow in tall grass? Udderly tickled.

80. How does a farmer count his cow? Using cowculator.

81. What do cows listen to at parties? Moo-sic.

82. What do you get when you cross a cow and a goat? A coat.

83. What does a cow eat for breakfast? Mooosli.

84. How did the cow get to Mars? It flew through udder space.

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