Schitt’s Creek is a Canadian comedy television series created by Eugene Levy and his son Dan Levy. The show stars Dan Levy, Catherine O’Hara, Chris Elliott, Emily Hampshire, Daniel Lapaine, and Annie Murphy.
Schitt’s Creek is set in the fictional town of Schitt’s Creek, which was once a thriving mining town with a population of almost 10 000 people but has been left abandoned since the mine closed in 1969.
The comedy series follows Johnny Rose (Dan Levy), who returns to Schitt’s Creek after estranging from his family for years due to a scandal involving his father (Eugene Levy). Johnny is seeking redemption and reconnecting with his father, who owns the only hotel and restaurant in town.
The following are some of the most famous and hilarious quotes from Schitt’s Creek that’ll make you laugh out loud.
39 Most Famous Schitt’s Creek Quotes That Are Funny
1. “Oh, I’d kill for a good coma right now.” ~ Moira Rose
2. “If there is anyone at this fabulous little confab who knows how to work a room of fragile egos, it’s me. I once hosted the non-televised portion of the People’s Choice Awards.” ~ Moira Rose
3. “Is “tests” code for open-heart surgery? You can tell me, I once played a nurse on M.A.S.H.” ~ Moira Rose
4. “What you did was impulsive, capricious and melodramatic, but it was also wrong.” ~ Moira Rose
5. “I haven’t bedazzled anything since I was 22.” ~ David Rose
6. “Trust me, no one is thinking about you the way that you’re thinking about you.” ~ Alexis Rose
7. “Very uninterested in that opinion.” ~ David Rose
8. “Well, David, these kids of parties take time and planning. Now, when I planned that Casablanca-themed party for your mother’s 40th, I had to quarantine the camels for a month.” ~ Johnny Rose
9. “I’m starting to feel like I’m trapped in an Avril Lavigne lyric here.” ~ David Rose
10. “The idea of me life coaching another human being should scare you. A lot.” ~ David Rose
11. “I don’t want to brag, but Us Weekly once described me as ‘up for anything.” ~ Alexis Rose
12. “Every time I did that with a boyfriend, I’d send him off with someone who like wasn’t a threat. Like, Pippa Middleton or Rihanna.” ~ Alexis Rose
13. “Children, keep an eye on these bags. Apparently, in hell, there’s no bellman!” ~ Moira Rose
14. “You see, I’ve got a closet full of suits, but, uh, I don’t wanna be taken advantage of because I’m overdressed, I need to look like I don’t have money.” ~ Johnny Rose
15. “If airplane safety videos have taught me anything, David, it’s that a mother puts her own mask on first.” ~ Moira Rose
16. “Gossip is the devil’s telephone. Best to just hang up!” ~ Moira Rose
17. “I could not be more at one with nature. I do Coachella every year.” ~ David Rose
18. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but is this car your home?” ~ Moira Rose
19. “Sadly it’s not custom this time around, Alexis. Mommy had to shop off the rack. Fortunately, I discovered something called a promo code.” ~ Moira Rose
20. “Hope you’re enjoying the cinnamon buns and vodka. We thought it was festive in a Scandinavian sort of way.” ~ Johnny Rose
21. “Talk to the hand, son, because the ears are no longer working.” ~ Johnny Rose
22. “I didn’t go missing, David. The FBI knew where I was the entire time.” ~ Alexis Rose
23. “This wine is awful. Get me another glass.” ~ Moira Rose
24. “Hide your diamonds, hide your exes…I’m a little bit Alexis.” ~ Alexis Rose
25. “I worked in soaps. They had me play my own father, who then became pregnant despite the vasectomy. I still hold the record for the longest-running demonic possession on daytime television.” ~ Moira Rose
26. “Come in, come in. Make yourself at home. There’s nothing in the fridge, and I marked the booze so I’ll know if you touch it!” ~ David Rose
27. “Why should I be the only one encumbered with this emotional cargo?” ~ Moira Rose
28. “Like Beyonce, I excel as a solo artist and my mom dressed me well into my teens.” ~ David Rose
29. The North Korean army could not keep my mother under control when it comes to event planning.” ~ David Rose
30. “Let’s go. I’ve had enough waking hours for one day.” ~ Moira Rose
31. “David, stop acting like a disgruntled pelican.” ~ Moira Rose
32. “A heavy salad might as well be a casserole.” ~ Moira Rose
33. “A hashtag? Is that two words?” ~ Johnny Rose
34. “I was perfectly fine not trusting people. Not trusting people is what I’m used to. It is my comfort zone.” ~ David Rose
35. “I plan on popping a pill, crying a bit, and falling asleep early.” ~ David Rose
36. “You know what, David, you get murdered first for once.” ~ Alexis Rose
37. “I have lost all my skills. And now I know how it feels to be utterly helpless like you and your sister.” ~ Moira Rose
38. “You might want to rethink the nightgown first — there’s a whole Ebenezer Scrooge thing happening. My best to Bob Cratchet.” ~ David Rose
39. “You must prepare for life, and whatever it will throw at you. The opportunities will diminish, and the ass will get bigger. Oh, you can bet your bottom dollar it will! Especially yours. You’re going to have a huge ass.” ~ Moira Rose
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