1. “The price is wrong, bitch.” ~ Happy Gilmore
2. “Damn you people. This is golf. Not a rock concert.” ~ Shooter McGavin
3. “Oh, you can count. Good for you.” ~ Shooter McGavin
4. “Damn alligator bit my hand off!” ~ Chubbs
5. “You’re gonna die, clown!” ~ Happy Gilmore
6. “Golf’s no different from Hockey. It requires talent and self-discipline.” ~ Chubbs
7. “Damn you people. Go back to your shanties.” ~ Shooter McGavin
8. “I’d love to punch that guy in the face right now. But I can’t, you know, because I’d get in trouble. I bet you get a lot of that on “Let’s Make A Deal.” ~ Happy Gilmore
9. “You little son of a bitch ball! Why don’t you just go home? That’s your home! Are you too good for your home? Answer me! Suck my white ass, ball!” ~ Happy Gilmore
10. “I’m stupid. You’re smart. I was wrong. You were right. You’re the best. I’m the worst. You’re very good-looking. I’m not attractive.” ~ Happy Gilmore
11. “Yeah, well we won’t have to worry about eating anymore, Grandma. See, they gave me this card: free Subway for life.” ~ Happy Gilmore
12. “If I saw myself in clothes like that, I’d have to kick my own ass.” ~ Happy Gilmore
13. “Spoken like a true asshole.” ~ Chubbs
14. “I didn’t break it, I was merely testing its durability, and I placed it in the woods cause it’s made of wood and I thought he should be with his family.” ~ Happy Gilmore
15. “Who the hell is Happy Gilmore?” ~ Announcer
16. “Now your back’s gonna hurt because you just pulled landscaping duty.” ~ Hal L.
17. “You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up! Now, you will go to sleep! Or I will put you to sleep. Check out the name tag. You’re in my world now, grandma!” ~ Hal L.
18. “Hey, why don’t I just go eat some hay, make things out of clay, lay by the bay? I just may! What’d ya say?” ~ Happy Gilmore
19. “You’re in big trouble though, pal. I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast!” ~ Shooter McGavin
20. “What are you doing Happy? Riding a bull? You’re acting like a damn fool!” ~ Chubbs
21. “I thought we were going to be just friends?” ~ Virginia Venit
22. “Friends listen to “Endless Love” in the dark.” ~ Happy Gilmore
23. “You lay another finger on me, I burn the house down and piss on the ashes.” ~ Shooter McGavin
24. “It’s all in the hips. It’s all in the hips. It’s all in the hips. It’s all in the hips.” ~ Chubbs
25. “What’s this I hear about you breaking a rake and throwing it in the woods?” ~ Virginia Venit
26. “That’s my puck, baby, don’t you ever touch my puck.” ~ Happy Gilmore
27. “I am good. You know what, you’re a lousy kindergarten teacher. I’ve seen those finger-paintings you bring home and they suck.” ~ Happy Gilmore
28. “You were great out there today. But not that great. A lot of that was luck.” ~ Chubbs
29. “You know what else could draw a crowd? A golfer with an arm growing out of his ass.” ~ Shooter McGavin
Read More:
