Humour is integral to life, but not everyone has the same sense of humour. Some people find humour in things considered inappropriate or offensive by others. And it’s completely fine. We know that everyone has different tastes when it comes to what they find funny and to respect those differences. But cracking dark-humour jokes can be a great way to get a laugh out of yourself and your friends.
We can find solace in the midst of chaos by laughing at ourselves. These jokes are a tool for self-reflection or just for fun – but they should always be told with respect and care.
Here we’ve compiled the list of best Dark Humor Jokes you can use to lighten the mood by bringing great laughs during tough times. So scroll down and see what we’ve got you covered.
Dark Humor Jokes
1. What does my dad have in common with Nemo? They both can’t be found.
2. What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
3. If at first, you don’t succeed… then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
4. Welcome to Plastic Surgery Anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces.
5. Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last long for fat people.
6. I just read that someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy.
7. I have a fish that can breakdance! Only for 20 seconds, though, and only once.
8. Want to know how you make any salad into a caesar salad?
Stab it twenty-three times.
9. I threw a boomerang a few years ago. I now live in constant fear.
10. I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was 5.
11. What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t matter what you call him, he won’t come anyway.
12. How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
13. If someone burns to death, do they get a discount at the crematorium?.
14. Why do orphans like playing tennis?
Because it’s the only love they get.
15. Where did Sharon go during the bombing?
16. Did you hear the joke about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
17. “I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.
18. Why do they call it the novel coronavirus?
It’s a long story.
19. One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.
20. I was reading a great book about an immortal cat the other day. It was impossible to put down.
21. Where did Joe go after getting lost on a minefield? Everywhere.
22. Why was the leper hockey game canceled? It was because of a face-off in the corner.
23. My grief counselor died. He was so good, I don’t even care.
24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
25. Stop elephant poaching. Everyone knows the best way to eat an elephant is grilled.
26. My grandma has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
27. Why can’t Michael Jackson go within 500 metres of a school? Because he’s dead.
28. What’s the difference between jelly and jam? You can’t jelly a clown into the tiny car.
29. He later told me it was the most violent book he’d ever read.
30. The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.
31. Why is there air conditioning in hospitals? To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.
32. What do you call a man who cries while he pleasures himself? A tearjerker.
33. You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
34. Sex is like air. It only matters if you aren’t getting any.
35. I childproofed my house. Somehow they still got in.
36. Why did the man miss the funeral? He wasn’t a mourning person.
37. You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
38. Why can’t Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school? Because he’s dead.
39. I was raised as an only child, which I think was hard for my brother.
40. Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens? When he asked them who the best composer was, they all replied, “Bach, Bach, Bach.”.
41. Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny.
42. My daughter asked me how stars die. “Usually an overdose,” I told her.
43. When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it leaves and never comes back.
44. A child molester and a priest walk into a bar. He orders a drink.
45. I don’t have a carbon footprint. I just drive everywhere.
46. Life is like a peepee. It’s often hard for no reason.
47. Today, I asked my phone “Siri, why am I still single?” and it activated the front camera.
48. What’s the best part about turning 60? No more calls from life insurance salesmen.
49. What’s the difference between me and cancer? My dad didn’t beat cancer.
50. What do you call inexpensive circumcision? A rip-off.
51. Sorry, what’s the quickest way to get to the hospital? Easy, just stand in the middle of a busy road.
52. Cremation. My final hope for a smokin’ hot body.
53. I know a fish that can breakdance! Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
54. They laughed at my crayon drawing. I laughed at their chalk outline.
55. Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a school bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
56. Why are friends a lot like snow? If you pee on them, they disappear.
57. Jokes about ISIS are all about the execution.
58. Lovely saying. Terrible way to find out you’re adopted.
59. I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday.
60. What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They are both meat substitutes.
61. What’s the difference between a hipster and a football player?
A football player showers.
62. What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
63. I read a book about an immortal dog. It was impossible to put down.
64. Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with.
65. If you think I would joke about Alzheimer’s, forget it.
66. I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.
67. Do you know the phrase “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure”? Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.
68. Dark humor is like food. Not everyone gets it .
69. My wife says sex is even better on holiday. I wish she didn’t tell me via email.
70. When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on outings.
71. What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.
72. They say make up sex is the best… Which is lucky because all my sex is made up.
73. Don’t challenge Death to a pillow fight. Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.