181 Corny Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Hard

Have you ever heard a corny joke and laughed out loud? It’s no surprise that corny jokes have been around for centuries and continue to make us laugh today. But why are they so funny?

We think It may be because they’re lighthearted and easy to understand or because they remind us of simpler times when life was less complicated. But, whatever the reasons, it’s clear that corny jokes are here to stay and will continue to bring smiles to people’s faces for many years to come.

Here we’ve compiled a list of the best Corny Jokes that are more relatable than other types of humour, making it easier for people to connect. So scroll down and see what we’ve got you covered.

Corny Jokes

1. When do computers overheat?

When they need to vent.

2. What do you call an alligator detective?

An investi-gator.

3. Why couldn’t the bad sailor learn the alphabet?

Because he always got lost at “C”.

4. Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?

Then it’d be a foot.

5. What kind of cheese isn’t yours?

Nacho cheese.

6. What’s black and white and read all over?

A newspaper.

7. Why couldn’t the couple get married at the library?

It was all booked up.

8. When is a door not a door?

When it’s ajar.

9. What does the dentist of the year get?

A little plaque.

10. Why are pirates called pirates?

They just ARRRR.

11. What do cows read the most?

Cattle-logs.

12. How do rabbits travel?

By hareplanes.

13. What do you call when a cow jumps on a trampoline?

A milkshake.

14. What’s brown and sticky?

A stick.

15. What do you call a factory that sells good products?

A satis-factory.

16. What flower do you have between your nose and chin?

Two lips.

17. How do you make a water bed bouncier?

Add spring water.

18. What do you call a beehive without an exit?

Unbelievable.

19. What’s the best way to burn 1,000 calories?

Leave the pizza in the oven.

20. How does Moses make his coffee?

Hebrews it.

21. Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants?

In case he got a hole in one.

22. How do snails fight?

They slug it out.

23. What do you call a pile of cats?

A meow-ntain.

24. How did the dead brother and his dead brother resemble each other?

They were dead ringers.

25. What did the tomato say to the other tomato during a race?

Ketchup.

26. What do you call a toothless bear?

A gummy bear.

27. Why are frogs are so happy?

They eat whatever bugs them.

28. Why can’t your ear be 12 inches long?

Because then it would be a foot.

29. Why did the pie go to the dentist?

To get a filling.

30. What kind of tea is hard to swallow?

Reality.

31. Why are spiders so smart?

They can find everything on the web.

32. I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I’ll let you know what comes first.

33. What do you call an unpredictable camera?

A loose Canon.

34. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

Ten-tickles.

35. What do you call an American bee?

USB.

36. What lights up a soccer stadium?

A soccer match.

37. Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators?

It lifts their spirits.

38. Why is Peter Pan always flying?

He Neverlands.

39. What do sprinters eat before a race?

Nothing — they fast.

40. Why are the Irish so wealthy?

Because their capital is Dublin.

41. What did one toilet say to another?

You look flushed.

42. What would bears be without bees?

Ears.

43. Where can you buy soup in bulk?

The stock market.

44. What’s small and red and has a rough voice?

A hoarse raddish.

45. Why do bees have sticky hair?

Because they use honeycombs.

46. Why are there gates around cemeteries?

Because people are dying to get in.

47. How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?

With a pumpkin patch.

48. What was the frog’s job at the hotel?

Bellhop.

49. Why is the mushroom always invited to parties?

He’s a fungi.

50. Which bear is the most condescending?

A pan-duh.

51. How did the hipster burn his tongue?

He drank his coffee before it was cool.

52. What do you call a shoe made from a banana?

A slipper.

53. Why don’t you buy things with Velcro?

It’s a rip-off.

54. Why was the fish’s grades bad?

They were below sea level.

55. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?

She will let it go.

56. What’s brown and sticky?

A stick.

57. Why do melons have weddings?

They cantaloupe.

58. Why is it so cheap to throw a party at a haunted house?

The ghosts bring all the boos.

59. What’s that restaurant on the moon like?

It doesn’t have atmosphere.

60. Where do baby cats learn to swim?

The kitty pool.

61. What do French fries do after a long time?

They ketchup.

62. Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don’t work.

63. Why should you never use “beef stew” as a password?

It’s not stroganoff.

64. What did the pig say when it was hot outside?

I’m bacon out here.

65. What do you call birds that stick together?

Vel-crows.

66. Where do polar bears keep their money?

In a snowbank.

67. Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

If they flew over the bay, they would be bagels.

68. What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.

69. Why did the bicycle fall over?

Because it was two tired.

70. Why did the scarecrow win an award?

He was outstanding in his field.

71. Why can’t you trust duck doctors?

They’re all quacks.

72. What has more lives than a cat?

A frog, because it croaks every day.

73. What kind of shoes do burglars wear?

Sneakers.

74. Why is grass so dangerous?

It’s full of blades.

75. How does a boar sign its name?

With a pig pen.

76. Why was the robot so tired after his road trip?

He had a hard drive.

77. What do you call someone with no body and no nose?

Nobody Knows.

78. Why do pancakes always win at baseball?

They have the best batter.

79. Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?

He couldn’t see himself doing it.

80. Why did the ball leave the party early?

He was on a roll.

81. What do you call a sad strawberry?

A blue berry.

82. Why don’t eggs tell jokes?

They crack up too easily.

83. What do sprinters eat before they race?

Nothing. They fast.

84. What do you call a well-balanced horse?

Stable.

85. Why did the farmer win an award?

He was outstanding in his field.

86. What do you get from a pampered cow?

Spoiled milk.

87. Why did the mushroom go to the party?

Because he was a fungi.

88. What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer.

89. What do lawyers wear to work?

Lawsuits.

90. What do elf’s learn in school?

The elf-abet.

91. Why did the stadium get so hot after the game?

All the fans left.

92. How do you tell if a vampire is sick?

See if he’s coffin.

93. What job did the frog have at the hotel?

Bellhop.

94. Why did the restaurant on the moon get bad reviews?

It has no atmosphere.

95. Why did the robber jump in the shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway.

96. Why was the ghost so tired? He worked the

graveyard shift.

97. Why don’t they play poker in the jungle?

Too many cheetahs.

98. What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear.

99. What do you call fake spaghetti?

An im-pasta.

100. What did the triangle say to the circle?

You’re pointless.

101. What do you get when you cross a cactus and a pig?

Porky pine.

102. What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta.

103. What kind of jewelry do rabbits wear?

carrot gold.

104. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?

In case he got a hole in one.

105. What do you call an angry carrot?

A steamed veggie.

106. How does the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it.

107. Why couldn’t the sailor learn his alphabet?

He kept getting lost at C.

108. How do you get a country girl’s attention?

A-tractor.

109. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

110. What’s a lawyer’s favorite drink?

Subpoena colada.

111. What do you call a sad cup of coffee?

Depresso.

112. What do you call a snobby criminal going down the stairs?

A con descending.

113. Why do mushrooms get invited to all the parties?

Because they are such fungis.

114. How do you make a tissue dance?

You put a little boogie in it.

115. Why was Cinderella so bad at soccer?

She kept running away from the ball.

116. Why did the bicycle collapse?

It was two tired.

117. What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.

118. Why don’t melons get married?

Because they cantaloupe.

119. What did 0 say to 8?

“Nice belt.

120. Which school subject was the witch’s favorite?

Spelling.

121. Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?

For drizzle.

122. How do you find Will Smith in a snowstorm?

You look for fresh prints.

123. Why did the man get hit by a bike every day?

He was stuck in a vicious cycle.

124. What did the nut say to the other nut in a game of tag?

Imma cashew.

125. How do you organize a space party?

You planet.

126. I have a fear of speed bumps. I’m slowly getting over them.

127. What’s the difference between the bird flu and the swine flu?

One requires tweetment and the other an oinkment.

128. Why did the restaurant hire a pig?

He was good at bacon.

129. Where was King David’s temple located?

Beside his ear.

130. How do you put an alien baby to sleep?

You rocket.

131. How does a duck buy lipstick?

She just puts it on her bill.

132. Why wouldn’t the sesame seed leave the casino?

He was on a roll.

133. What do scholars eat when they’re hungry?

Academia nuts.

134. What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Fssh.

135. Why didn’t the lightbulb eat a lot?

He wanted a light supper.

136. Where do pirates get their hooks?

Second hand stores.

137. Why shouldn’t you tell secrets in a cornfield?

Too many ears.

138. What do you call a shaker cow?

Beef jerky.

139. What did the termite say after walking into the bar?

“Is the bar tender here?”

140. What do lawyers wear to court?

Lawsuits.

141. Why can’t you trust an atom?

They make up everything.

142. Why did the poor man stock up on yeast?

To make some dough.

143. What’s Forrest Gump’s password?

forrest1.

144. How do you stop a bull from charging?

Cancel its credit card.

145. Why do bees have sticky hair?

They use a honeycomb.

146. What kind of shoes do robbers wear?

Sneakers.

147. Why is the grass so dangerous?

It’s full of blades.

148. Why did the kid stock up on yeast?

He wanted to make some dough.

149. What did the yoga instructor say when her landlord tried to evict her?

Namaste.

150. What do you call a cow with two legs?

Lean beef.

151. Why are teddy bears never hungry?

They are always stuffed.

152. Why did the photo go to jail?

It was framed.

153. Where does the electric cord go to shop?

An outlet mall.

154. How do you tell if a vampire is sick?

See if he is coffin.

155. What do sea monsters eat?

Fish and ships.

156. What do cows most like to read?

Cattle-logs.

157. What did the policeman say to his belly button?

You’re under a vest.

158. What does a baby computer call his father?

Data.

159. I lost an electron. You really have to keep an ion them.

160. How do you make an octopus laugh?

With ten-tickles.

161. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?

Because the “P” is silent.

162. If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do elves get?

Mistle-toes.

163. What did the ocean say to the sand?

Nothing — it just waved.

164. What do you call a blind dinosaur?

A do-you-think-he-saw-us.

165. Why is it a bad idea to eat a clock?

It’s too time-consuming.

166. What kind of music do planets like?

Neptunes.

167. How do you make an egg-roll?

You push it.

168. RIP, boiling water. You will be mist.

169. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pen?

Because it’s pointless.

170. How can you tell it’s a dogwood tree?

By the bark.

171. What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer?

A father-in-law.

172. What kind of ghost has the best hearing?

The eeriest.

173. What did the horse say after it tripped?

Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup.

174. Why do people say “break a leg” when you go on stage?

Because every play has a cast.

175. Why don’t ants get sick?

Because they have anty bodies.

176. Why do cows have hooves and not feet?

They lactose.

177. What do horses say when they fall?

“I can’t giddy up.

178. What do clouds wear under their shorts?

Thunder pants.

179. What wears a cap but doesn’t have a head?

A water bottle.

180. Why did the bike fall over?

It was two tired.

181. Why did the baby strawberry cry?

His parents were in a jam.

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