39 Funny Christmas Quotes To Laughing Until The New Year

The Christmas holiday season is a time of giving. People decorate their homes and give gifts to those they love. It’s also a time of reflection, as we take stock of the year that’s come and ponder what we would like for the coming year.

Traditionally, Christmas has been associated with Jesus’ birth. In the Bible, he was born in a barn in Bethlehem, which was at that time inhabited by shepherds who were guarding their flock during this most challenging time of year when predators were on the prowl for prey. The angel appeared to them and proclaimed peace on earth, goodwill toward men – heralding in the new era of peace and hope that would follow Jesus’ birth.

Here are the best funny Christmas quotes to help lighten up your holiday season and make it more enjoyable. These quotes will help you keep the festive spirit lighter than ever!

39 Funny Christmas Quotes To Laughing Until The New Year

1. “For Christmas this year, try giving less. Start with less attitude. There’s more than enough of that in the world as it is – and people will usually just give it back anyway!” – Anne Bristow

2. “The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven’t seen for 20 minutes.” ― Julius Sharpe

3. “I get a little behind during Lent, but it comes out even at Christmas.” ― Frank Butler

4. “The best Christmas present I got from my husband was a week to do whatever I wanted.” ― Olivia Haigh Williams

5. “Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.”– Andy Borowitz

6. “A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.” ― Garrison Keillor

7. “My mother-in-law has come round to our house at Christmas seven years running. This year we’re having a change. We’re going to let her in.”– Leslie ‘Les’ Dawson, Jr.

8. “The one thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.” ― Joan Rivers

9. “My husband’s idea of getting the Christmas spirit is to become Scrooge.” ― Melanie White

10. “I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can’t wait to exchange.” ― Henny Youngman

11. “Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, he must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, must be a pacifist. What’s in that pipe that he’s smoking?” – Arlo Guthrie

12. “I haven’t taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin.” ― Winston Spear

13. “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas. But if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red.” ― Anonymous

14. “Who’s the bane of Santa’s life? The elf and safety officer.” ― Catherine Tate

15. “That’s the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.” ― Jerry Seinfeld

16. “I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.’” – Bernard Manning

17. “I left Santa gluten-free cookies and organic soy milk and he put a solar panel in my stocking.” ― Unknown

18. “Let’s be naughty and save Santa the trip.”– Gary Allan

19. “At Christmas, tea is compulsory. Relatives are optional.” ― Robert Godden

20. “Christmas, here again. Let us raise a loving cup; Peace on earth, goodwill to men, and make them do the washing up.” ― Wendy Cope

21. “Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.” — Dennis Miller

22. “Bloody Christmas, here again, let us raise a loving cup, peace on earth, goodwill to men, and make them do the washing up.” ― Wendy Cope

23. “Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money.” ― Author Unknown

24. “What I like about Christmas is that you can make people forget the past with the present.” ― Don Marquis

25. “Christmas: the only time of year you can sit in front of a dead tree eating candy out of socks.” ― Anonymous

26. “All I want for Christmas is for my family to stop trying to talk to me while I’m trying to tweet.” ― Robin Wood on Twitter

27. “Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases.” ― Bridger Winegar

28. “I’m releasing a holiday song called, “All I Want for Christmas is my Parents’ Freaking Wifi Password.” ― Damien Fahey on Twitter

29. “Do give books – religious or otherwise – for Christmas. They’re never fattening, seldom sinful, and permanently personal.” ― Lenore Hershey

30. “Nothing says holidays like a cheese log.” —Ellen DeGeneres

31. “This holiday season, no matter what your religion is, please take a moment to reflect on why it’s better than all the other ones.” ― Guy Endore Kaiser

32. “Although it is pleasant to think about poison at any season, there is something special about Christmas, and I found myself grinning.” ― Alan Bradley

33. “There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus.” ― Bob Phillips

34. “A good holiday is one spent among people whose notions of time are vaguer than yours.” ― John B. Priestly

35. “I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.” ― Shirley Temple

36. “Christmas is a time when you get homesick, even when you’re home.” ― Carol Nelson

37. “Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas. You know, the birth of Santa?” – Matt Groening

38. “He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree.” ― Roy L. Smith

39. “Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.” ― Victor Borge

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