1. “When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place.” ~ Jimmy Breslin
2. “Here’s to alcohol, the rose-colored glasses of life.” ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald
3. “I feel bad for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.” ~ Frank Sinatra
4. “He that drinks fast, pays slow?” ~ Benjamin Franklin
5. “Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut?” ~ Ernest Hemingway
6. “I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly.” ~ Ron Burgundy
7. “Responsible drinking? Now that’s an oxymoron.” ~ Aaron Howard
8. “Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.” ~ Ogden Nash
9. “All is fair in love and beer?” ~ Kurt Paradis
10. “Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages.” ~ Louis Pasteur
11. “First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.” ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald
12. “Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.” ~ W.C. Fields
13. “I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food?” ~ W.C. Fields
14. “Drinking intensifies all your pressures and your needs.” ~ Desi Arnaz
15. “If God had intended us to drink beer, he would have given us stomachs?” ~ David Daye
16. “I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it?” ~ Rodney Dangerfield
17. “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy?” ~ Benjamin Franklin
18. “Here’s to alcohol, the cause of, and solution to, all life’s problems?” ~ The Simpsons
19. “Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy?” ~ Frank Sinatra
20. “A man’s true character comes out when he’s drunk.” ~ Charlie Chaplin
21. “The more I drink, the less there is for the kids to drink.” ~ Phoebe Buffay
22. “Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.” ~ Henry Lawson
23. “Beer, it’s the best damn drink in the world.” ~ Jack Nicholson
24. “I drink to make other people more interesting?” ~ Ernest Hemingway
25. “They say as soon as you have to cut down on your drinking, you have a drinking problem.” ~ Don Draper, Mad Men
26. “It provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance“-William Shakespeare
27. “Of all vices, drinking is the most incompatible with greatness.” ~ Walter Scott
28. “I drink to make other people more interesting.” ~ Ernest Hemingway
29. “I began to think vodka was my drink at last. It didn’t taste like anything, but it went straight down into my stomach like a sword swallowers’ sword and made me feel powerful and godlike.” ~ Sylvia Plath
30. “Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it’s compounding a felony.” ~ Robert Benchley
31. “24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?”~ Steven Wright
32. “I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache; and what is more, I never intend to have it.” ~ Mark Twain
33. “In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
34. “In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, and in water there is bacteria.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
35. “Alcohol is a way of life, alcohol is my way of life, and I aim to keep it?” ~ Homer Simpson
36. “In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I’m sorry, did I say ‘scientists’? I meant Irish people.” ~ Tina Fey
37. “I’m on a whisky diet. I’ve lost three days already?” ~ Tommy Cooper
38. “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
39. “Whisky is liquid sunshine?” ~ George Bernard Shaw
40. “Love makes the world go round? Not at all. Whiskey makes it go round twice as fast?” ~ Compton Mackenzie
41. “A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts?” ~ Steve Fergosi
42. “When I was younger I made it a rule never to take strong drink before lunch. It is now my rule never to do so before breakfast.” ~ Winston Churchill
43. “In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria?” ~ Benjamin Franklin
44. “I pray you, do not fall in love with me, for I am falser than vows made in wine.” ~ William Shakespeare
45. “Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.” ~ Mark Twain
46. “Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.” ~ Frank Sinatra
47. “To alcohol! The cause of – and solution to – all of life’s problems.” ~ Homer Simpson
48. “This is one of the disadvantages of wine: it makes a man mistake words for thought.” ~ Samuel Johnson
49. “After the first glass, you see things as you wish they were. After the second, you see things as they are not. Finally, you see things as they really are, and that is the most horrible thing in the world.” ~ Oscar Wilde
50. “Beer, if drunk in moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit and promotes health.” ~ Thomas Jefferson
51. “Time is never wasted when you’re wasted all the time?” ~ Catherine Zandonella
52. “I don’t have a drinking problem, ‘cept when I can’t get a drink.” —Tom Waits
53. “If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt?” ~ Dean Martin
54. “One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.” ~ George Carlin
55. “First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you?” ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald
Read More:
