Humour has the power to make any conversation more enjoyable. When it comes to adding a little bit of laughter into your discussions, a good funny, clean joke can do its magic to make the atmosphere more relaxed and enjoyable.
We all know that jokes can bring a smile to anyone’s face, no matter the situation. And when you’re talking with friends, family, or colleagues, cracking these kinds of jokes is especially great because everyone can enjoy them without any worries about being offensive or inappropriate.
Here we’ve compiled a list of the best Clean Jokes that are perfect to bond over shared laughter in your surrounding people with just a few words. So scroll down and see what we’ve got you covered.
Best Clean Jokes
1. What did one traffic light say to the other?
Stop looking at me, I’m changing.
2. What gets wetter the more it dries?
A towel.
3. What did one toilet say to the other?
You look flushed.
4. As a scarecrow, people say I’m outstanding in my field. But hay, it’s in my jeans.
5. It’s always windy in a sports arena. All those fans.
6. What do you call a pony with a cough?
A little horse.
7. Do you want to hear a construction joke?
Sorry, I’m still working on it.
8. I saw a movie about how ships are put together. It was riveting.
9. Why did the bullet end up losing his job?
He got fired.
10. Why did the cowboy get a wiener dog?
He wanted to get a long little doggie.
11. What’s a foot long and slippery?
A slipper.
12. What’s the easiest way to get straight As?
Use a ruler.
13. What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?
A receding hare-line.
14. Want to hear a roof joke?
The first one’s on the house.
15. What do you call a pile of kittens?
A meowntain.
16. What kind of shoes does a spy wear?
Sneakers.
17. How much space will be freed in the EU after Brexit?
Approximately 1 GB.
18. I tried to win a suntanning competition. But all I got was bronze.
19. Why don’t blind people skydive?
Because it scares their dogs.
20. What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck.
21. What kind of shorts do clouds wear?
Thunderpants.
22. What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.
23. What’s sticky and brown?
A stick.
24. Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France?
There was nothing left but de Brie.
25. Why was the broom late?
It over swept.
26. Where should a 500 pound alien go?
On a diet.
27. What did the tie say to the hat?
You go on ahead. I’ll hang around.
28. Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was in tents.
29. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent.
30. Why were they called the “dark ages?”
Because there were a lot of knights.
31. How does NASA organize a party?
They planet.
32. Why should you never trust stairs?
They’re always up to something.
33. How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it.
34. Is this pool safe for diving?
It deep ends.
35. Why are toilets always so good at poker?
They always get a flush.
36. What is red and smells like blue paint?
Red paint.
37. Why don’t koalas count as bears?
They don’t have the right koalafications.
38. Why aren’t koalas actual bears?
The don’t meet the koalafications.
39. What do you call a train carrying bubblegum?
A chew-chew train.
40. I started a new job as a tailor last week. It’s been sew-sew.
41. What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
42. When does a joke become a ‘dad’ joke?
When it becomes apparent.
43. Why doesn’t the sun go to college?
Because it has a million degrees.
44. What’s brown and sticky?
A stick.
45. What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, it just waved.
46. How do you look for Will Smith in the snow?
Just follow the fresh prints.
47. How does a dog stop a video?
By hitting the paws button.
48. What kind of car does Mickey Mouse’s wife drive?
A minnie van.
49. What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
“Breathe, man! Breathe.”
50. I stayed up all night and tried to figure out where the sun was. Then it dawned on me.
51. What did the big flower say to the little flower?
Hi bud.
52. How do mountains stay warm in the winter?
Snowcaps.
53. What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
54. Why did the nurse need a red pen at work?
In case she needed to draw blood.
55. I poured root beer in a square glass. Now I just have beer.
56. What did the duck say when it bought some lipstick?
Put it on my bill.
57. The first rule of the Alzheimer’s club is… Wait, where are we again?.
58. What do you call a boy named Lee that no one talks to?
Lonely.
59. What do you call a rooster staring at a pile of lettuce?
A chicken sees a salad.
60. Why doesn’t Dracula have any friends?
Well, honestly, he’s a real pain in the neck.
61. I bought the world’s worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it’s terrible.
62. You know why you never see elephants hiding up in trees?
Because they’re really good at it.
63. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?
You probably think it’s “R” but it be the “C”.
64. How does a farmer mend his overalls?
With cabbage patches.
65. What do dentists call their x-rays?
Tooth pics.
66. Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks.
67. What’s red and moves up and down?
A tomato in an elevator.
68. What do you call malware on a Kindle?
A bookworm.
69. A group of crows was arrested for hanging out together.
The charge?
i don’t know 🙂
70. I told my friend 10 jokes to get him to laugh. Sadly, no pun in 10 did.
71. Did you hear about the first restaurant to open on the moon?
It had great food, but no atmosphere.
72. What does a pepper do when it’s angry?
It gets jalapeño face.
73. Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn?
Because he always has a great fall.
74. What concert only costs 45 cents?
Cent featuring Nickleback.
75. How did the blonde die ice fishing?
She was hit by the zamboni.
76. Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay?
Because then they’d be bagels.
77. Can February march?
No, but April may.
78. Why was the tomato red?
Because he saw the salad dressing.
79. What did the Buddhist ask the hot dog vendor?
Make me one with everything.
80. What does the world’s top dentist get?
A little plaque.
81. Why is no one friends with Dracula?
Because he’s a pain in the neck.
82. Why did the picture go to jail?
Because it was framed.
83. What should you do if you’re attacked by a group of clowns?
Go straight for the juggler.
84. What bow can’t be tied?
A rainbow.
85. What did one toilet say to the other?
You look a bit flushed.
86. Want to hear a joke about a roof?
The first one’s on the house.
87. I got my husband a fridge for his birthday. His face lit up when he opened it.
88. I waited and stayed up all night and tried to figure out where the sun was. Then it dawned on me.
89. How many tickles does it take to get an octopus to laugh?
Ten tickles.
90. What did the paper say to the pencil?
Write on.
91. How many tickles does it take to make an Octopus laugh?
Ten-tickles.
92. What do you call a cow with a twitch?
Beef jerky.
93. What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.
94. What is it that even the most careful person overlooks?
Her nose.
95. Why are crabs so bad at sharing?
Because they’re all shellfish.
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