90+ Lesbian Jokes That Are Enough to Make You Gasping

In the past few years, lesbian jokes have become increasingly popular among adults. From stand-up comedy shows to sitcoms, it has become more and more accepted in mainstream culture. This is a trend that has been slowly but surely gaining momentum as people become more comfortable with discussing topics related to LGBTQ+ issues in public.

Here we’ve compiled a list of 90+ Lesbian Jokes that is an entertaining way to poke fun and break down barriers between different groups of people. So scroll down and see what we’ve got you covered.

Lesbian Jokes

1. What does a lesbian love to use?

Slip of the tongue.

2. Where do you find a lost lesbian?

In no-man’s land.

3. What do you call a lesbian block?

A beaver dam.

4. What does a lesbian pirate search for?


5. What does a butch lesbian spider like to be called?

Daddy Long Fingers.

6. What’s a lesbian’s favorite Pokemon?


7. What do you call a lesbian who fell asleep tanning?

Fried fish.

8. Did you hear about the new politically-correct term for lesbians?


9. What do you call a lesbian with long fingernails?


10. What are lesbians called in the UK?

Crumpet munchers.

11. Why do lesbians hate being on their period?


12. What do turtals and lesbians have in comen?

they both choke on plastic.

13. Where do lesbians love to go?

Down under.

14. What’s a lesbian’s favorite food?

Finger food.

15. What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?


16. What do you call a lesbian’s closet?

A lick-her cabinet.

17. Why were lesbians invented?

So that feminists wouldn’t breed.

18. What do you call two lesbians with their period?

Finger painting.

19. How can you tell a tough lesbian bar?

Even the pool table has no balls.

20. What do you call two lesbians floating down a river?

Fur Traders.

21. The other day a feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships. Apparently HD was the wrong answer.

22. What does a high lesbian get?

The carpet munchies.

23. What won’t a lesbian take?


24. What’s a lesbian’s favorite weapon?

Finger guns.

25. What do you call a lesbian with braces?

A box cutter.

26. How do Roman lesbians have s*x?

They Caesar.

27. Why did the lesbian build a shelf?

To hold her shoulders.

28. What do you call a lesbian’s fingers?

Fish sticks.

29. Lesbians can also take Viagra. They don’t have to swallow it, they just let it melt in their tongues.

30. What kind of train does a lesbian take?


31. What does a lesbian bring on a second date?

A U-haul.

32. What do you call a hot lesbian?

A bushfire.

33. What do you call a lesbian with a strap-on?

The hole she-bang.

34. What kind of chocolate does lesbian hate?

Ones that contain nuts.

35. What is the best position for lesbians?


36. What is the most common lesbian pickup line?

Your face or mine?

37. What kind of food does a lesbian love?

Anything they can eat out.

38. In a field of people, what do you call a gang of lesbians?


39. What’s a lesbian’s favorite card game?


40. What do lesbians love to use in art class?


41. What’s a lesbian’s favorite candy?


42. What’s a lesbian’s favorite contest?

Pie Eating.

43. What do lesbians need to get married?

A Licker license.

44. What do you call an ex lesbian?


45. What does Santa get a lesbian for Christmas?

A new carpet to munch on.

46. What do Polish lesbians use for a lubricant?

Tartar sauce.

47. Which is the best dating app for lesbians?


48. What do you 12 lesbians together?

A women’s lacrosse team.

49. Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?

Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.

50. Where do lesbians stay on vacation?

A lesbi-INN.

51. Who makes the sandwiches in a lesbian relationship?

Neither. They both eat out.

52. What’s a lesbian’s favorite holiday?

Easter without the s.

53. Why do lesbians have house cats as pets?

Because they love p*ssy.

54. What do you call a lesbian in a racecar?

Fast food.

55. Why do lesbians love bowling balls?

Because you can stick three fingers in at once.

56. What’s a lesbian’s favorite bean?

Ones you can flick.

57. What hand condition affects lesbians the most?


58. Which Disney character would a lesbian be?

Lickey Mouse.

59. What do you call a crazy lesbian?

Fruit Loops.

60. Who’s a lesbian’s favorite baseball player?

Lenny Dykstra.

61. Why are so many lesbians vegan?

Because they don’t like meat.

62. What do you call lesbian twins?


63. What’s a lesbian romantic movie called?

Chick Lick.

64. What do you call an open can of tuna fish in a lesbian’s apartment?


65. What do you call a lesbian with a big tongue?

Well hung.

66. Why was the lesbian sick?

She was lacking vitamin D.

67. Why do lesbians eat at KFC?

It’s finger-lickin’ good.

68. What’s a lesbian’s signature food item?


69. What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?


70. How do lesbians have sex?

It’s too complicated. I’d have to show you.

71. Which profession do lesbians generally choose?


72. How do lesbian snakes speak?

In tongues.

73. Why are lesbians jealous of whales?

Because they have 9 foot long tongues.

74. Why are lesbians so busy?

Because they have no time to straighten up.

75. Why do lesbians hate sports?

Because most involve balls.

76. Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?

She kept having affairs with men.

77. How do lesbians settle a fight? Rock,

Papers, Scissors.

78. What do you call a lesbian in a Chili’s?

Baby Back Butch.

79. What’s a lesbian’s favorite ballet?

The Nutcracker.

80. Why are lesbians so bad at math?

They can’t multiply.

81. What did the Lawyer say to the lesbian?

One slip of the tongue and you will be in s**t.

82. In a lesbian relationship, who opens the jars?

No one, they eat out.

83. What kind of molluscs does a lesbian love?


84. How do you know if lesbians are into fisting jokes?

You can smell it on them.

85. What is the breathing pattern of a lesbian asthmatic?

In snatches.

86. What do call an ex-lesbian?

A Clitter Quitter.

87. What do lesbians call their strap-on?

Pixie stick.

88. What’s a lesbian’s favorite type of resturaunt?

All you can eat muffet.

89. What do you call a lesbian with eight girlfriends?

An octopus.

90. What does a lesbian bring on a first date?

A turkey baster.

91. What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?

“I’ll see you next month.

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