George Carlin was an American comedian, social critic, actor, and author. He is known for his “Seven dirty words” comedy routine.
George Carlin is one of the most controversial and influential comedians in the United States. He has also been a controversial figure due to his criticism of organized religion, politics, the legal system, and many other societal institutions. His work tended to deal with taboo subjects that were not usually discussed publicly in polite company.
Carlin’s stand-up career began in the 1950s and continued until his death in 2008 at age 71 from heart failure complicated by pneumonia brought on by lung cancer.
Here is the list of wise quotes that will help you expand your thinking to create a more revolutionary world.
Top 55 George Carlin Quotes That Will Make You Think
“Those who dance are considered insane by those who can’t hear the music.”
“The caterpillar does all the work but the butterfly gets all the publicity.”
“Some people see the cup as half empty. Some people see the cup as half full. I see the cup as too large.”
“Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are stupider than that.”
“Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.”
“Just because you got the monkey off your back, doesn’t mean the circus has left town.”
“If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.”
“Language is a tool for concealing the truth. If we could read each other’s minds, this would be a horror show.”
“The planet isn’t going anywhere. We are.”
“Life is not measured by the number of breath we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.”
“Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body.”
“Don’t just teach your children to read. Teach them to question what they read. Teach then to question everything.”
“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.”
“Your home is your refuge.”
“There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.”
“It’s called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.”
“If it requires a uniform, it’s a worthless endeavor.”
“Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes.”
“Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.”
“Let’s not have a double standard. One standard will do just fine.”
“My advice: just keep movin’ straight ahead. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place.”
“Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.”
“Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.”
“The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.”
“If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?”
“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
“There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.”
“Religion is like a pair of shoes…..Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.”
“What I became a comedian for was to get my art out. To get some of these feelings and things I had on my chest out. I don’t care if people believe them, listen to them, change their ways, or think, or any of that kind of crap. I’m interested in showing off. I’m the same kid from sixth grade who stood up and said “watch this.”
“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough not to quit.”
“Property is theft. Nobody “owns” anything. When you die, it all stays here.”
“By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.”
“May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.”
“The future will soon be a thing of the past.”
“People are wonderful one at a time. Each one of them has an entire hologram of the universe somewhere within them.”
“Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.”
“When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foot’s hands.”
“There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.”
“If everyone in the world sat quietly at the same time, closed their eyes and concentrated as hard as they could on peace and goodwill, all the killing and cruelty in the world would continue. And probably increase.”
“A lot of the people who keep a gun at home for safety are the same ones who refuse to wear a seat belt.”
“When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.”
“I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a whole lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam.”
“When you are born, you get a ticket to the freak show. When you are born in America, you get a front row seat.”
“Careful, if you think too much, they’ll take you away.”
“I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.”
“Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.”
“Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.”
“Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that.”
“The reason I talk to myself is that I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
“Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that.”
“Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.”
“People who say they don’t care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don’t care what people think.”
“Conservatives say if you don’t give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. As for the poor, they tell us they’ve lost all incentive because we’ve given them too much money.”
“Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn’t mean the circus has left town.”
“Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.”
“The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the intellect.”
“If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is it homeless or naked?”
