The 45 Greatest Hangover Quotes That Are Hilarious To Read

The Hangover is a film about three men on the last day of their bachelor party in Vegas. They wake up in a hotel room to find that they have lost all their money and ended up owing the hotel for everything they’ve done while partying.

When it comes to planning, things always go wrong. The best way you can avoid this is to plan and set yourself up for success with the right tools and resources. You need to be aware of your limitations, your strengths, and weaknesses, as well as what you want out of your business, before you start spending money on anything else.

Here are the best and most hilarious quotes from the movie that will make you laugh and want to watch it again.

45 Greatest Hangover Quotes That Are Hilarious To Read

1. “Oh, my God! That is my tooth! Why do you have that? What else is in your pockets?” ~ Stu

2. “Okay, kids. You’re in for a real treat today. These gentlemen have kindly volunteered to demonstrate how a stun gun is used to subdue a suspect. That’s right.” ~ Officer Franklin

3. “Whose f**king baby is that?” ~ Phil

4. “To a night the four of us will never forget!” ~ Phil

5. “Jesus, he’s like a gremlin. Comes with instructions and shit.” ~ Phil

6. “Don’t worry about it, man. Like you said, we all do dumb shit when we’re f**ked up.” ~ Mike Tyson

7. “I don’t know, Phil. Apparently, I’m a guy who marries complete strangers. This whole situation is completely f**ked. These mugs. This hat.” ~ Stu

8. “Remember what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Except for herpes. That shit’ll come back with you.” ~ Sid

9. “And we’re the three best friends that anybody could have.” ~ Alan

10. “What do tigers dream of when they take their little tiger snooze? Do they dream of mauling zebras, or Halle Berry in her Catwoman suit?” ~ Stu

11. “Yeah, we’re stuck in traffic in a stolen police car with what is sure to be a missing child in the back seat. Which part of this is fun?” ~ Stu

12. “You’re such a bad person. Like, all the way through to your core! Alan, shall we dance?” ~ Stu

13. “Ew! Alan, did you just eat sofa pizza?” ~ Stu

14. “Oh, my God! Oh, my God! You just nailed the baby.” ~ Stu

15. “I look like a nerdy hillbilly!” ~ Stu

16. “What’s the problem? We’re just riding an elevator. Why, is this Jeopardy? What the f**k is this bullshit!” ~ Phil

17. “I do. It’s at the corner of ‘Get A Map and F**k Off’. I’m a doctor, not a tour guide. Figure it out yourself, okay? You’re big boys.” ~ Dr. Valsh

18. “There’s a jungle cat in the bathroom!” ~ Alan

19. “You are literally too stupid to insult.” ~ Stu

20. “I can’t believe I gave my grandmother’s Holocaust ring to someone I just met. What was I thinking?” ~ Stu

21. “Let’s just get some coffee and get the f**k out of Nevada before housekeeping shows.” ~ Phil

22. “Wow! You are the world’s shittiest drug dealer.” ~ Stu

23. “Gambling? Who said anything about gambling? It’s not gambling when you know you’re going to win. Counting cards is a foolproof system.” ~ Alan

24. “Whatever happens tonight, I won’t ever speak a word of it. Seriously. I don’t care what happens. I don’t care if we kill someone. You heard me, it’s Sin City.” ~ Alan

25. “Would you please put some pants on? I feel weird having to ask you twice.” ~ Phil

26. “By the way, we’re all gonna die.” ~ Stu

27. “You know what, Doug? You should enjoy yourself because come Sunday you’re going to start dying, just a little bit, every day.” ~ Phil

28. “Don’t let the beard fool you. He’s a child!” ~ Stu

29. “Would you shut up and drive before these nerds ask me another question?” ~ Phil

30. “There you go. That’s the stuff. I like the intensity. Eye of the tiger. Good. You’re holding fifty thousand volts, little man. Don’t be afraid to ride the lightning.” ~ Officer Franklin

31. “Whoa, whoa, whoa! I’m a schoolteacher, I got a family, okay? I’m all for secrecy, but I’m not going to torch a f**king cop car.” ~ Phil

32. “Phil, we’re not even going to be in the room. It’s one night, we can share beds. It’s no big deal.” ~ Stu

33. “It’s rock, paper, scissors. There’s nothing more fair.” ~ Phil

34. “Phil, we’re not going to leave a baby in the room, there’s a f**king tiger in the bathroom!” ~ Stu

35. “Toodooloo, motherf**ker!” ~ Mr. Chow

36. “Four of us wolves, wandering the desert together in Las Vegas, looking for strippers and cocaine.” ~ Alan

37. “Hey, Phil, am I missing a tooth?” ~ Stu

38. “What are you talking about? I’ve found a baby before.” ~ Alan

39. “To a night the four of us will never forget!” ~ Phil

40. “You know, everyone says Mike Tyson is such a badass, but I think he’s kind of a sweetheart.” ~ Stu

41. “Oh! Holy f**k! He’s not kidding! There’s a tiger in there!” ~ Phil

42. “Why are you peppering the steak? You don’t know if tigers like pepper.” ~ Stu

43. “It’d be so cool if I could breastfeed, you know?” ~ Alan

44. “I’m sorry, you mean the drug dealer at the liquor store wasn’t a good guy?” ~ Stu

45. “You know, I just have to say I have never seen a more beautiful, elegant, just regal creature.” ~ Phil

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