47 Best Si Robertson Quotes That Will Crack You Up

1. “You can’t spell squirrel without si, and that’s me.” – Si Robertson

2. “I’m like a fine-tuned race car. You’ve got to make frequent pit stops when you drink as much tea as I do.” – Si Robertson

3. “One time, hey, in high school this girl told me, hey, its not you, its me.. Ofcourse its you, you dang HEFFER!” – Si Robertson

4. “I don’t know what a person does that does not have a relationship with God. When he goes to the doctor and the doctors says, ‘Hey, you’ve got less than two months to live and there’s nothing we can do for you.’ Who do they turn to when you’re given something that earth shattering?” – Si Robertson

5. “I’m always just carrying a Tupperware cup, ever since my mom went to a Tupperware party and got ’em. I’ve left them strewn all over the U.S. and Europe. I drink iced tea out of them.” – Si Robertson

6. “They got some people that are saying, hey, elect me as president. Hey, Washington couldn’t handle Si Robertson. Trust me.” – Si Robertson

7. “God has taken four guys that look like five miles of muddy road and made them famous in the TV world.” – Si Robertson

8. “You can’t teach an old dog new dog new tricks. Now,you can give an old dog new toys. And we’ve got one here!” – Si Robertson

9. “I sting like a butterfly and punch like a flea.” – Si Robertson

10. “Victoria’s got her secrets. Hey, so do I!” – Si Robertson

11. “Some people say I’m a dreamer, others say, ‘If you fall asleep at work again we’re going to have to let you go’.” – Si Robertson

12. “I go out into America, and I am literally navigating a minefield. Godliness has become abnormal.” – Si Robertson

13. “Everything I say is 95% truthful.” – Si Robertson

14. “I live by my own rules (reviewed, revised, and approved by my wife).. but still my own.” – Si Robertson

15. “I know all the new phrases: ‘cowabunga,’ ‘radical,’ cat’s pajamas,’ ‘duh,’ and ‘hey, homie don’t play that.” – Si Robertson

16. “I’ve worn it to church before. Camouflage and the other clothes.” – Si Robertson

17. “All of my stories are 95 percent truthful.” – Si Robertson

18. “Hey can mean anything. It can mean yes, it can mean maybe, it could mean no, it could mean next week. Hey, the bottom line is you have to understand me to understand hey.” – Si Robertson

19. “I eventually figured out that a cigarette is nothing more than a pinch of tobacco rolled in paper – with fire at one end and an idiot at the other!” – Si Robertson

20. “In the winter, things are dead and dull, but then there is an explosion of life. That’s what He promises people who believe in His Son. That’s what all the Robertsons are banking on.” – Si Robertson

21. “I’m like a fine-tuned race car. You’ve got to make frequent pit stops when you drink as much tea as I do.” – Si Robertson

22. “In the military it was camouflage for the desert or the winter. And now it’s the duck hunting colors – I think it’s “real tree.” It’s comfortable. It’s stuff that’s made out of comfortable material, OK, and I’m comfortable in it.” – Si Robertson

23. “I was in my tighty-whities and I never woke up, and I ran over a mile.” – Si Robertson

24. “When I sign people’s stuff, I put down John 3:16 and 17.” – Si Robertson

25. “Sometimes, our greatest strengths can be found while trusting God through our greatest obstacles.” – Si Robertson

26. “I messed up on the Vietnam Special, because I gave it to civilians? Only military men can handle that.” – Si Robertson

27. “A beaver is about like the ninjas the suckers only work at night and they’re hard to find.” – Si Robertson

28. “Everybody thinks I’m the weirdo in the family.” – Si Robertson

29. “My father, OK, when we first got old enough to hunt, this was his rule: If you shoot it, you come home and eat it. Otherwise you do not shoot it, OK? You don’t just kill something for the sake of killing it, OK? If you kill it, you gotta grill it, so to speak.” – Si Robertson

30. “Fred Astaire’s got nothing on me.” – Si Robertson

31. “That’s what got me through 65 years of life – my belief in God and what He’s done for us and what He will do for us.” – Si Robertson

32. “When I go out or to an event, I’ll wear blue jeans and a shirt. And sometimes when I go to an event I’ll wear camouflage. It depends what kind of mood I’m in.” – Si Robertson

33. “There’s a lot of kids who look up to me, and that’s humbling. Because being human, I don’t want to fail them. But being human, I will. That’s why it’s so important to have your faith put in something that won’t fail you. And that means the Son of God’s kingdom.” – Si Robertson

34. “Never insult a mans beard, you either get thunder or lightning” – Si Robertson

35. “When security comes, every man for himself.” – Si Robertson

36. “Hey, I’m like Aretha Franklin, I don’t get no R -S -P -E -C -T around here!” – Si Robertson

37. “I don’t know any redneck that’s not into fun. That’s their middle name: Red-Fun-Neck.” – Si Robertson

38. “First it’s pretty tires. Next it’s pretty guns. Then the next thing you know, you’re shaving your beard and wearing capri pants.” – Si Robertson

39. “Daddy had a farm – cows, pigs, OK, a big garden, OK? We did live off the land, and then we would supplement all that with whatever we could kill or catch. Whether we’d kill squirrels, deer, duck, or caught catfish or brim, that was what went on the table.” – Si Robertson

40. “It ain’t gun control we need; it’s sin control.” – Si Robertson

41. “You can’t fix stupid. You can’t fix a neutered dog you can’t fix a garage door and hey, you can’t fix stupid” – Si Robertson

42. “Ice will ruin the tea. Waters it down. You can always get ice, or carry your ice in an ice container. You don’t want to put it in your tea, it’ll water it down.” – Si Robertson

43. “Vets are close to my heart, okay, and it’s not only because I served, okay. It’s because of what they go through, okay. A lot of these people have gave their lives, a lot of them have gave their limbs, okay, you know, that’s a, that’s a, that’s a heap, you know.” – Si Robertson

44. “I’ve worn it to church before. Camouflage and the other clothes.” – Si Robertson

45. “Nap time would become a national pastime. A man needs his beauty rest!” – Si Robertson

46. “People don’t realize where unsweet tea came from. During the war they had to ration sugar, so then everybody just had to drink bitter tea, or unsweet.” – Si Robertson

47. “God has taken four guys that look like five miles of muddy road and made them famous in the TV world.” – Si Robertson

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