1. “They grew fat and happy–the horses, not the children, or Marlena for that matter.”
2. “Why the hell shouldn’t I run away with the circus?”
3. “…if you expect people to try to do things your way, you’re going to have to give some hints as to what that way is.”
4. “When will people learn that just because you can make something doesn’t mean you should?”
5. “But there’s nothing to be done about it. All I can do is put in time waiting for the inevitable, observing as the ghosts of my past rattle around my vacuous present. They crash and bang and make themselves at home, mostly because there’s no competition. I’ve stopped fighting them.”
6. “Even in your twenties you know how old you are. I’m twenty-three, you say, or maybe twenty-seven. But then in your thirties something strange starts to happen. It’s a mere hiccup at first, an instant of hesitation. How old are you? Oh, I’m – you start confidently, but then you stop. You were going to say thirty-three, but you’re not. You’re thirty-five. And then you’re bothered, because you wonder if this is the beginning of the end. It is, of course, but it’s decades before you admit it.”
7. “What else do I have to offer? Nothing happens to me anymore. That’s the reality of getting old, and I guess that’s really the crux of the matter. I’m not ready to be old yet.”
8. “Sometimes, when I’m in bed, I close my eyes and remember the look – and especially the feel – of a woman’s naked body. Usually it’s my wife’s, but not always. I was completely faithful to her. Not once in more than sixty years did I stray, except in my imagination, and I have a feeling she wouldn’t have minded that. She was a woman of extraordinary understanding.”
9. “And then I laugh, because it’s so ridiculous and so gorgeous and it’s all I can do to not melt into a fit of giggles. So what if I’m ninety-three? So what if I’m ancient and cranky and my body’s a wreck? If they’re willing to accept me and my guilty conscience, why the hell shouldn’t I run away with the circus?”
10. “It’s as though I’ve been sleepwalking and suddenly woken to find myself here”
11. “I scotch to the edge of my seat and reach for my walker. By my estimation, I’m only eighteen feet from freedom. Well, there’s an entire city block to traverse after that, but if I hoof it I bet I can catch the last few acts. […] I may be in my nineties, but who says I’m helpless?”
12. “I look after those who look after me.” He smacks his lips, stares at me, and adds, “I also look after those who don’t.” – Sara Gruen (Water for Elephants)”
13. “I just can’t. I’m married. I made my bed and now I have to lie in it.”
14. “i meant what i said, and i said what i meant.”
15. “My heart pounds so hard that, despite the roaring of the crowd, I am aware of blood whooshing through my ears. I am filled to overflowing, bursting with love.”
16. “I realize the blackness of sleep is circling my head. It’s been there a while, biding its time and growing closer with each revolution. I give up on rage, which at this point has become a formality, and make a mental note to get angry in the morning.”
17. “Then I lie down on the horse blanket and drift into a dream about Marlena that will probably cost me my soul.”
18. “The sky the sky- same as it always was.”
19. “August is not the only one consumed by thoughts of Marlena. I lie on my horse blanket at night wanting her so badly I ache. A part of me wishes she would come to me – but not really, because it’s too dangerous. I also can’t go to her, because she’s sharing a bunk in the virgin car with one of the bally broads.”
20. “hate this bizarre policy of protective exclusion,”
21. “I hate him. I hate him for being so brutal. I hate that I’m beholden to him. I hate that I’m in love with his wife and something damned close to that with the elephant. And most of all, I hate that I’ve let them both down.”
22. “Honey, I plan to marry you the moment the ink is dry on that death certificate.”
23. “I called my parents and asked if I could come home, but they wouldn’t even speak to me. It was bad enough that I’d married a Jew, but now I wanted a divorce as well? My father made Mother tell me that in his eyes I had died the day I eloped.”
24. “Sometimes I think if I had to choose between an ear of corn or making love to a woman, I’d choose the corn.”
25. “The more distressing the memory, the more persistent it’s presence. ”
26. “I hate this bizarre policy of protective exclusion, because it effectively writes me off the page.”
27. “I give up on rage, which at this point has become a formality, and make a mental note to get angry again in the morning. Then I let myself drift, because there’s really no fighting it.”
28. “I’m not going to sit here and listen to you tell me that it’s okay for August to hit her because she’s his wife. Or that it’s not his fault because he’s insane. If he’s insane, that’s all the more reason she should stay away.”
29. “Before the end of the date, he had proposed.”
30. “Even as your body betrays you, your mind denies it.”
31. “Sometimes when you get older – and I’m not talking about you, I’m talking generally, because everyone ages differently – things you think on and wish on start to seem real. And then you believe them, and before you know it they’re a part of your history, and if someone challenges you on them and says they’re not true – why, then you get offended. Because you don’t remember the first part. All you know is that you’ve been called a liar. […]”
32. “Although there are times I’d give anything to have her back, I’m glad she went first. Losing her was like being cleft down the middle. It was the moment it all ended for me, and I wouldn’t have wanted her to go through that. Being the survivor stinks.”
33. “Hey! Shouts Camel. There ain’t no woman in the world worth two bottles of whiskey!”
34. “Life is the greatest show on earth!”
35. “It’s like Charlie told the cop. For this old man, this is home.”
36. “I cling to my anger with every ounce of humanity left in my ruined body, but it’s no use. It slips away, like a wave from shore. I am pondering this sad fact when I realize the blackness of sleep is circling my head. It’s been there awhile, biding its time and growing closer with each revolution”
37. “Do you have any idea how much an elephant drinks?”
38. “Keeping up the appearance of having all your marbles is hard work, but important.”
39. “When did I stop being me?”
40. “I weave on my knees trying to figure out who and what and where but now the ground comes screaming toward me. I’m powerless to stop it so I brace myself, but in the end it isn’t necessary because the blackness swallows me before it hits.”
41. “Last night you said, ‘I need you.’ You never said the word ‘love,’ so I only know how I feel.” I swallow hard, blinking at the part in her hair. “I love you, Marlena. I love you with my heart and soul, and I want to be with you.”
42. “She looks at her watch – a real one, with arms. Those digital ones came and went, thank God. When will people learn that just because you can make something doesn’t mean you should?”
43. “Maybe it was me. Maybe I wanted to hate him because I’m in love with his wife, and if that’s the case, what kind of man does that make me?”
44. “By the time she returns, I have managed to undo three buttons on my other shirt. Not bad for gnarled fingers. I’m rather pleased with myself. Brain and body, both in working order.”
45. “But it all zipped by. One minute Marlena and I were in it up to our eyeballs, and next thing we knew the kids were borrowing the car and fleeing the coop for college. And now, here I am. In my nineties and alone.”
46. “Dear God. Not only am I unemployed and homeless, but I also have a pregnant woman, bereaved dog, elephant, and eleven horses to take care of.”
47. “Is where you’re from the place you’re leaving or where you have roots?”
48. “Age is terrible thief. Just when you’re getting the hang of life, it knocks your legs out from under you and stoops your back”
49. “The thought has cheered me, and I’d like to hang onto that. Must protect my little pockets of happiness.”
50. “I’m afraid to breathe in case I break the spell.”
51. “Age is a terrible thief. Just when you’re getting the hang of life, it knocks your legs out from under you and stoops your back. It makes you ache and muddies your head and silently spreads cancer throughout your spouse.”
52. “I scan the room. Catherine is writing quickly, her light brown hair falling over her face. She is left-handed, and because she writes in pencil her left arm is silver from wrist to elbow.”
53. “I stare at her for a long moment. I want to kiss her. I want to kiss her more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life.”
54. “You call your child by the names of all your other children and finally the dog before you get to his.”
55. “Now, go shovel some shit.”
56. “After sixty-one years together, she simply clutched my hand and exhaled.”
57. “I came home poorer by several hundred dollars and richer by more books than I could carry.”
58. “In seventy years, I’ve never told a blessed soul.”
59. “All I can do is put in time waiting for the inevitable, observing as the ghost of my past rattle around my vacuous present. They crash and bang and make themselves at home, mostly because there’s no competition. I’ve stopped fighting them. They’re crashing and banging around in there now. Make yourselves at home, boys. Stay awhile. Oh, sorry- I see you already have. Damn ghost.”
60. “You do right by me, I’ll show you a life most suckers can’t even dream of.”
61. “I had my whole life planned.. I knew exactly where it was taking me..”
62. “Don’t mind Russ,” he says. “He’s a good kid underneath all those holes, although it’s a wonder he doesn’t spring a leak when he drinks”
63. “When two people are meant to be together, they will be together. It’s fate.”
64. “With a secret like that, at some point the secret itself becomes irrelevant. The fact that you kept it does not.”
65. “Do you have any idea how much an elephant drinks?”
