35 Inspiring Ron Swanson Quotes To Live Life With Integrity

As a fictional character, Ron Swanson is perhaps best described as the complex combination of the walking embodiment of pure masculinity and an everyman who stubbornly defies all rational expectations.

Ron loves being a man’s man and although he prefers to spend his time woodworking, fishing & hunting, he also sneakily enjoys playing jazz music on the side as an “extra” named Duke Silver. Within the office, however, Ron likes to keep his soft side hidden. He prefers to be alone and has a rather uncompromising attitude toward his colleagues.

As the Director of the Pawnee Parks and Recreation Department, Ron is a strong advocate for reducing government waste by bringing the department’s budget under control. He believes that too many resources are wasted daily for nothing, and so while he was in charge, Swanson did his best to bring the department back to its starting point.

Here are some of his most famous quotes that help to guide you to live your day-to-day life with more integrity:

35 Inspiring Ron Swanson Quotes To Live Life With Integrity

1. “If any of you need anything at all, too bad. Deal with your problems yourselves, like adults.” ― Ron Swanson

2. “Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons.” ― Ron Swanson

3. “One rage every three months is permitted. Try not to hurt anyone who doesn’t deserve it.” ― Ron Swanson

4. “Live your life how you want, but don’t confuse drama with happiness.” ― Ron Swanson

5. “Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.” ― Ron Swanson

6. “There has never been a sadness that can’t be cured by a breakfast food.” ― Ron Swanson

7. “It’s pointless for a human to paint scenes of nature when they can go outside and stand in it.” ― Ron Swanson

8. “Sting like a bee. Do not float like a butterfly. That’s ridiculous.” ― Ron Swanson

9. “I prefer quality over flash — that’s why I refuse to write my signature in cursive.” ― Ron Swanson

10. “I regret nothing. The end.” ― Ron Swanson

11. “Birthdays were invented by Hallmark to sell cards.” ― Ron Swanson

12. “Give 100%. 110% is impossible. Only idiots recommend that.” ― Ron Swanson

13. “There are only three ways to motivate people: money, fear, and hunger.” ― Ron Swanson

14. “The only thing that’s important at the end of the day is what’s on your gravestone — Your name.” ― Ron Swanson

15. “I also think it’s pointless for a human to paint scenes of nature when they can go outside and stand in it.” ― Ron Swanson

16. “I’ll take that steak to go. Please and thank you.” ― Ron Swanson

17. “The less I know about other people’s affairs, the happier I am. ” ― Ron Swanson

18. “Saltwater will warp the wood, so keep your tears in you eyes where they belong.” ― Ron Swanson

19. “It’s always a good idea to demonstrate to your coworkers that you are capable of withstanding a tremendous amount of pain.” ― Ron Swanson

20. “I’d wish you the best of luck but I believe luck is a concept created by the weak to explain their failures.” ― Ron Swanson

21. “Sting like a bee, but do not float like a butterfly. That’s ridiculous.” ― Ron Swanson

22. “I’ve cried twice in my life. Once when I was 7 and hit by a school bus. And then again when I heard that Li’l Sebastian had passed.” – Ron Swanson

23. “Put some alcohol in your mouth to block words from coming out.” ― Ron Swanson

24. “I like saying ‘No,’ it lowers their enthusiasm.” ― Ron Swanson

25. “Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Don’t teach a man to fish…and feed yourself. He’s a grown man. And fishing’s not that hard.” ― Ron Swanson

26. “Don’t start chasing applause and acclaim. That way lies madness.” – Ron Swanson

27. “I was born ready. I’m Ron F*cking Swanson.” ― Ron Swanson

28. “Any dog under 50 pounds is a cat, and cats are useless.” – Ron Swanson

29. “The key to burning an ex-wife effigy is to dip it in paraffin wax and then toss the flaming bottle of isopropyl alcohol from a safe distance. Do not stand too close when you light an ex-wife effigy.” ― Ron Swanson

30. “Great job, everyone. The reception will be held in each of our individual houses, alone.” – Ron Swanson

31. “If there were more food and fewer people, this would be a perfect party.” – Ron Swanson

32. “You chose a thankless job, you can’t be upset when nobody thanks you. Don’t start chasing applause and acclaim. That way lies madness.” ― Ron Swanson

33. “I’m a simple man. I like pretty, dark-haired women and breakfast food.” – Ron Swanson

34. “There has never been a sadness that can’t be cured by a breakfast food.” ― Ron Swanson

35. “Strippers do nothing for me. But I will take a free breakfast buffet anytime, anyplace.” ― Ron Swanson

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