60 Best Letterkenny Quotes That Will Make You Laugh

Letterkenny is a Netflix original series. The show is an original series about the small Canadian town of Letterkenny, Ontario.

It stars Jared Keeso as Wayne and Nathan Dales as his best friend Daryl, with co-stars Dylan Playfair, Steve O’Rourke, Tyler Johnson, and Alexander De Jordy. Today it has become one of the most popular shows in Canada.

Letterkenny is a comedy that follows the day-to-day lives of Wayne (Jared Keeso), Daryl (Nathan Dales), and their friends as they navigate small-town living, all while avoiding getting on each other’s nerves. Representing everything that makes small towns great: friends who have each other’s backs no matter what; local traditions that are almost

Here are 60 of the best Letterkenny quotes that will make you laugh out loud.

Best Letterkenny Quotes

“You’re pretty good at wrestlin’ there, Katy, and that’s what I appreciate about you.” — Squirrelly Dan

“It’s a hard life picking stones and pulin’ teats, but as sure as God’s got sandals, it beats fightin’ dudes with treasure trails.” — Wayne

“We only got one shot at this. One chance. One win. You know? Vomit on your mom’s spaghetti, or whatever that talking singer says.” — Coach

“What’s up with your body hair, you big shoots? You look like a 12-year-old Dutch girl.” — Wayne

“Tim’s, McDonald’s, and the beer store are all closed on Christmas Day. And that’s your whole world right there.” — Wayne

“Oh I’m stomping the brakes, put that idea right through the fucking windshield.” — Katy

“You stopped toe curlin’ in the hot tub ‘cause you heard sperms stay alive in there, and you’ve seen Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles enough times to know how that story ends.” — Wayne

“Your sister’s hot, Wayne! There I said it! I said it! I regret nothing! I regret nothing!” — Squirrelly Dan

“You can cross fuck off.” — Wayne

“Fuck you, Shoresy, you’re a terrible fuckin ref!” — Jonesy

“Here’s a poem. Starlight, star bright, why the fuck you got earrings on? Bet your lobes ain’t the only thing that got a hole punched in ’em.” — Wayne

“And I suggest you let that one marinate.” — Wayne

“If I was a Dr. Seuss book, I’d be The Fat in the Hat.” — Katy

“It’s a hard life picking stones and pulin’ t**ts, but as sure as God’s got sandals, it beats fightin’ dudes with treasure trails.” — Wayne

“Your dad says guys with big trucks have little d**ks. And that makes sense cuz you want a real big truck and got a real little d**k.” — Wayne

“If you have a problem with the majestic Canadian Goose, then you have a problem with me.” — Wayne

“Here’s a poem. Starlight, star bright, why the f**k you got earrings on? Bet your lobes ain’t the only thing that got a hole punched in ’em.” — Wayne

“Buddy you couldn’t wheel a fuckin’ tire down a hill.” — Wayne

“Seeing as this is most certainly a one-off event and not a tradition that also falls on some made-up holiday that I couldn’t give a cats qu**f about, I’m out. There’s happiness calling my name from the bottom of a bottle of Puppers.” — Wayne

“I wish you weren’t so fucking awkward, bud.” — Wayne

“You naturally care for a companionship, but I guess there’s a lot worse things than playing a little one-man couch hockey in the dark.” — Wayne

“I see the muscle shirt came today. Muscles coming tomorrow? Did ya get a tracking number? Oh I hope he got a tracking number. That package is going to be smaller than the one you’re sportin’ now.” — Daryl

“Well, there’s nothing better than a fart. Except for kids falling off bikes, maybe. Fuck, I could watch kids falling off bikes all day, I don’t give a fuck about your kids.” — Wayne

“Your sister’s hot, Wayne! There I said it! I said it! I regret nothing! I regret nothing! — Squirrelly Dan

“I see the muscle shirt came today. Muscles coming tomorrow? Did ya get a tracking number? Oh, I hope he got a tracking number. That package is going to be smaller than the one you’re sportin’ now.” — Daryl

“Fuck you Shoresy! Put a shirt on.” — Reilly

“Call me a cake, ‘cause I’ll go straight to your ass, cowboy!” — Gail

“Closest you’re gettin’ to any action this weekend is givin’ the dairy cow’s teets a good scrubbin’.” — Wayne

Letterkenny Quotes Shoresy

“Well, there’s nothing better than a fart. Except kids falling off bikes, maybe. Fuck, I could watch kids fall off bikes all day, I don’t give a shit about your kids.”

“You Were A Sniper In That Game Today And… Do You See That Sniper At 3 O’clock?”

“Fuck Lemony Snicket, what a serious of unfortunate events you fuckin been through you ugly fuck.”

“You wish there was a Pied Piper for possums, but there isn’t, so you’re just gonna have to keep picking ‘em off with a .22. Buckle up ‘cause they’re fuckin’ ugly…of course, that’s not to say I have it all my damn self.”

“ It’s like algebra…why you gotta put numbers and letters together? Why can’t you just go fuck yourself? ”

“Boulevard of Broken Dreams!”

“Oh I’m Stomping The Brakes, Put That Idea Right Through The Fucking Windshield.”

“Fuck Lemony Snicket, What A Serious Of Unfortunate Events You Fuckin Been Through You Ugly Fuck. Boulevard Of Broken Dreams!”

“ You naturally care for a companionship, but I guess there’s a lot worse things than playing a little one man couch hockey in the dark.”

“You Ever Hoover Schneef Off A Sleeping Cow’s Spine? I’ve Hoovered Schneef Off An Awake Cow’s Teet.”

Letterkenny Hockey Quotes

“Does a duck with a boner drag weeds?”

“If you have a problem with the majestic Canadian Goose, then you have a problem with me. And I suggest you let that one marinate.”

“Well, there’s nothing better than a fart. Except for kids falling off bikes, maybe. Fuck, I could watch kids falling off bikes all day, I don’t give a fuck about your kids.”

“His Girlfriend Was Going Out Of Town So She Tooted The Horn One More Time Before She Left.”

“Oh I’m stomping the brakes, put that idea right through the fucking windshield.”

“You are made of spare parts, aren’t you buddy?”

“Fuck you Jonesy! Your mom just liked my Instagram post from 2 years ago in Puerto Vallarta. Tell her I’ll put my swim trunks on for her any time she likes.”

“ Your friend says his sled’s got so much torque he can’t keep the front end down, Ok bud, if you wanna blow smoke, go have a dart.”

“You’re made up of spare parts aren’t you, bud?”

“Oh, come on, kitten. I won’t tell anyone.”

Letterkenny Quotes Funny

“You’d best be preparin’ for a Donny Brook if you think I’m going to that super soft birthday party of yours.” — Wayne

“Nice onesie. Does it come in men’s? — Jonesy

“Yeah. Oh, hey, look at you, ground.” — Squirrelly Dan

“You wish there was a pied piper for possums. But there isn’t, so you’re just gonna have to keep picking ‘em off with a .22.” — Wayne

“Seeing as this is most certainly a one-off event and not a tradition that also falls on some made-up holiday that I couldn’t give a cats queef about, I’m out. There’s happiness calling my name from the bottom of a bottle of Puppers.” — Wayne

“Oh, come on, kitten. I won’t tell anyone.” — Wayne

“…I’m too fat to run.” — Squirrelly Dan “You knew your pal had come into money when he started throwing out perfectly good pistachios like he was above cracking ‘em open with a box cutter like the rest of us.” — Daryl

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