Jokes are a great way to bring people together and get them laughing, and Halloween is a time for spooky decorations, costumes and, of course, jokes. Everyone loves a good laugh, from silly one-liners to longer stories, adults to kids. You can make your family and friends cackle with good jokes.
Hence, there’s something for everyone when it comes to Halloween jokes. It helps us bond with one another by creating lasting memories of our time together.
So if you’re looking for some good laughs this season, here we’ve compiled the list of best Halloween Jokes that are hilarious to read and bring some good laughs. So scroll down and see what we’ve got you covered.
Best Halloween Jokes
1. What is a vampire’s favorite holiday, besides Halloween?
Fangs-giving.
2. What’s a zombie’s favorite weather?
Cloudy, with a chance of brain.
3. Why was all of the food gone at the end of the Halloween party?
Everyone was a goblin.
4. Where do werewolves store all of their Halloween candy?
In a werehouse.
5. Why are ghosts terrible liars?
You can see right through them.
6. Who do monsters buy their cookies from?
Ghoul scouts.
7. Why didn’t the zombie go to school?
He felt rotten.
8. Where do ghosts buy their food?
At the ghost-ery store.
9. How do vampires get around on Halloween?
On blood vessels.
10. What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday?
Fangs-giving.
11. Why did the zombie become a mortician?
To put food on the table.
12. What did Dracula say about his wife?
It was love at first bite.
13. What do you call a skeleton who never does his chores?
Lazy bones.
14. Why don’t zombies like pirates?
They’re too salty.
15. What does a ghost call a mistake?
A boo boo.
16. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite genre?
Pulp fiction.
17. Knock Knock?
Who’s there?
Eddie!
Eddie who?
Eddie body home? It’s Halloween.
18. Where do ghosts love to vacation?
Mali-boo.
19. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite Western?
The Gourd, the Bad, and the Ugly.
20. Why don’t zombies eat popcorn with their hands?
They eat their hands separately.
21. What is a vampire’s favorite halloween candy?
A sucker.
22. How do monsters prepare their eggs?
Terror-fried.
23. What do you call Winnie the Pooh on Halloween?
Winnie the Boo.
24. Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Eddie.
Eddie Who?
Eddie body home? It’s Halloween.
25. Which Halloween monster is good at math?
Count Dracula.
26. How do you know a skeleton is sick?
He’s coffin.
27. Why did the scarecrow decline dessert?
He was already stuffed.
28. How do ghosts send letters?
Through the ghost office.
29. Where does Dracula keep his money?
In a blood bank.
30. Where do ghosts like to trick or treat?
At dead ends.
31. What’s a zombie’s favorite cheese?
Zom-brie.
32. What makes trick or treating with twin witches so challenging?
You never know which witch is which.
33. Why did the ghost go into the bar?
For the Boos.
34. Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Robin.
Robin who?
Robin your candy jar.
35. Where does a ghost go on vacation?
Mali-boo.
36. What kind of medicine do witches use on their warts?
I don’t know, but it’s not working.
37. What is a zombie’s least favorite candy?
Life Savers.
38. How do you know when a ghost is sad?
He starts boo hooing.
39. What do skeletons order at a restaurant?
Spare ribs.
40. What is a skeleton’s favorite snack?
A cinnabone.
41. What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert?
I-Scream.
42. Why do skeletons love to drink milk?
It’s good for the bones.
43. What did the pumpkin say to its carver?
Cut it out.
44. What sea do zombies swim in?
The dead sea.
45. Which type of pants do ghosts wear to trick or treat?
Boo jeans.
46. What’s a ghost’s favorite play?
Romeo and Ghoul-iet.
47. What’s a witch’s favorite makeup?
Ma-scare-a.
48. What does a werewolf eat for breakfast?
A pooched egg.
49. What do you call zombies in pajamas?
The sleepwalking dead.
50. How do you mend a jack-o’-lantern?
With a pumpkin patch.
51. Knock Knock?
Who’s there?
Ice cream!
Ice Cream who?
Ice cream every time I see a ghost.
52. Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
To day-scare.
53. What do you call a skeleton who lays around all day?
Lazy bones.
54. How do gourds grow big and strong?
Pumpkin iron.
55. What do you call a skeleton who goes out in the snow?
A numb-skull.
56. What do witches get when their shoes are too tight?
Candy corns.
57. Knock Knock? Who’s there? Figs! Figs who?
Figs your doorbell so I can stop knocking.
58. How do you know a mummy caught a cold?
It starts coffin.
59. What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It’s a pain in the neck.
60. What does a ghost mom say when she gets in the car?
Fasten your sheet-belts.
61. What does a carved pumpkin celebrate?
Hollow-een.
62. Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Handsome.
Handsome who?
Handsome candy to me.
63. What is in a ghost’s nose?
Boo-gers.
64. Why did the Headless Horseman get a job?
He was trying to get ahead in life.
65. What room does a ghost not need in a house?
A living room.
66. What’s a vampire’s favorite ice cream flavor?
Vein-illa.
67. What’s the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie?
Your teeth.
68. What was the witch’s favorite subject in school?
Spelling.
69. Why did he jack-o-lantern fail out of school?
Someone scooped his brains out.
70. Why did the witch take a nap?
She needed to rest a spell.
71. What do you call two witches who live together?
Broom-mates.
72. What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?
Squash.
73. What happened to the witch who flew her broom while angry?
She flew off the handle.
74. Where does a skeleton go for a fun night?
Anywhere, as long as it’s a hip joint.
75. What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A blood orange.
76. Who gives Dracula the most candy on Halloween?
His fang-club.
77. What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone.
78. What kind of car does Frankenstein drive on Halloween night?
A monster truck.
79. What kind of dog does a vampire have?
A bloodhound.
80. What does a ghost put on his turkey?
Grave-y.
81. What sound do witches make when they eat cereal?
Snap, Cackle . Pop.
82. What do skeletons fly around in?
A scareplane or a skelecopter.
83. What does a little witch use to bake?
An easy bake coven.
84. Who does a werewolf go trick or treating with?
His cousins What wolf and When wolf.
85. Why did the ghost cancel his comedy show?
He didn’t want to get booed.
86. Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
Day-scare.
87. Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Howl.
Howl who?
Howl you dress up for Halloween this year?
88. What does a turkey dress up as on Halloween?
A goblin.
89. What kind of art do skeletons like?
Skulltures.
90. What’s a zombie’s favorite treat?
You might guess brain food, but it’s actually eye candy.
91. What kind of cereal does a ghost have for breakfast?
Rice Creepies.
92. What do birds give to trick or treaters?
Tweets.
93. How do mummies tell their future?
They read their horror-scope.
94. What does a panda ghost eat?
Bam-BOO.
95. What’s it like being kissed by a vampire?
It’s a pain in the neck.
96. Where do zombies live?
On a dead-end street.
97. What do birds say on Halloween?
“Trick or tweet.”
98. What do ghosts dress up in on Halloween?
Pillowcases.
99. What made the witch go to the hospital?
She had a dizzy spell.
100. Knock Knock?
Who’s there?
Iguana.
Iguana who?
Iguana eat all your candy.
101. Why do ghosts go on diets?
So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
102. How do ghosts wash their hair?
With sham-boo.
103. What do mummies listen to on Halloween?
Wrap music.
104. What did the skeleton bring to the dinner party?
Spare-ribs.
105. Knock Knock,
Who’s there?
Witch!
Witch who?
Witch one of you has my candy?
106. Where does a mummy go on vacation?
The Dead Sea.
107. Who helped the little pumpkin cross the road?
The crossing gourd.
108. What do witches put on to go trick or treating?
Mas-scare-a.
109. What game do baby ghosts like to play?
Peek-a-Boo.
110. Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Hutch.
Hutch who? Bless you.
111. Where did the skeleton keep his money?
In the crypt-o market.
112. What did the bird say on Halloween?
Twick or tweet.
113. Knock Knock?
Who’s there?
Boo!
Boo who?
Don’t cry, it’s only Halloween.
114. Why did the ghost quit studying?
Because he was too ghoul for school.
115. How do you make a skeleton laugh?
You tickle his funny bone.
116. Why aren’t zombies ever arrested?
They can’t be captured alive.
117. Why are ghosts so bad at telling lies?
Because you can see right through them.
118. Why was the gourd so gossipy?
To give ’em pumpkin to talk about.
119. Knock Knock?
Who’s there?
Phillip!
Phillip who?
Phillip my bag with candy.
120. Why did the pumpkin take a detour?
To avoid a seedy part of town.
121. Why did Dracula take cold medicine?
Because he was coffin too much.
122. Why don’t mummies take vacations?
They’re afraid to unwind.
123. What kind of horse do ghosts ride?
A night-mare.
124. Where do fashionable ghosts shop?
Bootiques.
125. Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Havana.
Havana who?
Havana awesome time this Halloween.
126. Why did the skeleton start a fight?
Because he had a bone to pick.
127. What do you call a cleaning skeleton?
The grim sweeper.
128. Why was the jack-o’-lantern scared?
Because it had no guts.
129. Where do ghosts go on holidays?
The Boohamas.
130. What do you call two spiders that were just married?
Newley webbed.
131. Why don’t skeletons like Halloween candy?
They don’t have the stomach for it.
132. What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite.
133. What did one ghost say to the other?
Do you believe in humans?
134. Why did the headless horseman go into business?
He wanted to get ahead in life.
135. The skeleton couldn’t help being afraid of the storm—he just didn’t have any guts.
136. Where does a pumpkin preach?
From the pulp-it.
137. What brand of shampoo do zombies use?
Head and Shoulders.
138. Why did the skeleton quit his job?
His heart was not in it.
139. How does a witch style her hair?
With scare spray.
140. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the scary movie?
He didn’t have the guts.
141. How did the zombie become great a trick or treating?
Dead-ication.
142. Why did the ghost get a ticket on Halloween?
He didn’t have a haunting license.
143. Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body.
144. Knock Knock?
Who’s there?
Orange!
Orange who?
Orange you glad it’s Halloween?
145. What is a monster’s favorite game?
Hide and shriek.
146. What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
Neck-tarines.
147. What is a monster’s favorite cheese?
Munster.
148. What’s it called when a vampire has trouble with his house?
A grave problem.
149. Knock Knock?
Who’s there?
Ivana!
Ivana who?
Ivana suck your blood.
150. What does Bigfoot say when he asks for candy?
“Trick-or-feet!”
151. What did the Kleenex say to the ghost?
Put a little boo-pie in it.
152. Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Omar. Omar who?
Omar gosh, that’s a cool costume.
153. Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul-friend.
154. What do you call a witch with a rash?
An itchy-witchy.
155. What did the fisherman say on Halloween?
Trick or trout.
156. What is a ghost’s favorite kind of drink?
Ghoul-aid.
157. What do you call a fat pumpkin?
A plumpkin.
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