Dorothy Parker was an American writer, poet, and critic who is renowned for her wry wit. She is most famous for being one of the most influential figures in 20th-century American literature and culture. Her wit, irascibility, acid tongue and acerbic wit have made a lasting impression on how Americans view their culture.
Although she was not a professional writer, she published her first short story in 1924 when she was just 22 years old. After that, she began to write for magazines like Vanity Fair and The New Yorker.
She wrote a lot about being a woman in the men’s world, including her iconic story “The Diablo,” which has been made into many films like The Cat with Two Heads.
Here are the quotes and sayings of Dorothy Parker that will help you understand her life’s secrets and teach you important life lessons.
33 Greatest Dorothy Parker Quotes You Must Read
1. “Three be the things I shall never attain: envy, content, and sufficient champagne.” ― Dorothy Parker
2. “A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika.” ― Dorothy Parker
3. “I don’t care what is written about me so long as it isn’t true.” ― Dorothy Parker
4. “Four be the things I’d have been better without: love, curiosity, freckles and doubt.” ― Dorothy Parker
5. “Constant use had not worn ragged the fabric of their friendship.” ― Dorothy Parker
6. “If I didn’t care for fun and such, I’d probably amount to much. But I shall stay the way I am, because I do not give a damn.” ― Dorothy Parker
7. “Living well is the best revenge.” ― Dorothy Parker
8. “Take me or leave me; or, as is the usually order of things, both.” ― Dorothy Parker
9. “Their pooled emotions wouldn’t fill a teaspoon.” ― Dorothy Parker
10. “You can’t lead a horticulture but you can’t make her think.” ― Dorothy Parker
11. “You think you’re frightening me with your hell, don’t you? You think your hell is worse than mine.” ― Dorothy Parker
12. “I require three things in a man: he must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.” ― Dorothy Parker
13. “Money cannot buy health, but I’d settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.” ― Dorothy Parker
14. “Where’s the man that could ease a heart like a satin gown?” – Dorothy Parker
15. “I don’t know much about being a millionaire, but I’ll bet I’d be darling at it.” ― Dorothy Parker
16. “This wasn’t just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it.” ― Dorothy Parker
17. “Now I know the things I know, and I do the things I do; and if you do not like me so, to hell, my love, with you!”
18. “I won’t telephone him. I’ll never telephone him again as long as I live. He’ll rot in hell before I’ll call him up. You don’t have to give me strength.” ― Dorothy Parker
19. When she was offended by the amount of money a producer offered her to write a script: “You can’t take it with you, and even if you did, it would probably melt.” ― Dorothy Parker
20. “Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience.” ― Dorothy Parker
21. “That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.” ― Dorothy Parker
22. “You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.” ― Dorothy Parker
23. “The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.” ― Dorothy Parker
24. “If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.” ― Dorothy Parker
25. “It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard.” ― Dorothy Parker
26. “Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.” ― Dorothy Parker
27. “Money cannot buy health, but I’d settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.” ― Dorothy Parker
28. “Women and elephants never forget.” ― Dorothy Parker
29. “What fresh hell is this?” – Dorothy Parker
30. “If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you.” ― Dorothy Parker
31. “The two most beautiful words in the English language are ‘cheque enclosed.’” – Dorothy Parker
32. “Don’t look at me in that tone of voice.” ― Dorothy Parker
33. “I don’t know much about being a millionaire, but I’ll bet I’d be darling at it.” ― Dorothy Parker
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