71 Coffee Jokes That Are Hilarious to Perk You Up

As coffee has become a staple beverage for many people around the world. From funny puns to clever wordplay, coffee jokes can be found everywhere, from social media posts to office break rooms.

We believe it’s a great way to make people laugh while sharing some stories and experiences about coffee. So why not take a break from your daily grind and enjoy coffee-related humour?

With their humorous take on the beloved beverage, our 71 Coffee Jokes are sure to bring a smile to anyone’s face. So scroll down and see what we’ve got you covered.

Coffee Jokes

1. What currency can we use to buy coffee in space?

S T A R B U C K S.

2. What’s the best Beatles song?

Latte Be.

3. What do gossiping pots do?

Spill the beans.

4. What did the coffee say about its late assignment?

Better latte than never.

5. What’s a coffee’s favorite spell?

Espresso Patronum.

6. How are coffee beans like teenagers?

They are always getting grounded.

7. How should you react when a place has bottomless coffee?

With bottomless thanks.

8. What do baristas say to their least-favorite customers?

You mocha me crazy.

9. I’m about to have a dangerous cup of coffee… Safe tea first, though.

10. What’s the technical name for a pot of coffee at work?

Break fluid.

11. Who makes the coffee on Tatooine?

Java the hut.

12. What do you call it when you drop your coffee mug?

A coffee break.

13. Why should you never discuss coffee in public?

It can get heated.

14. What do you call it when you walk into a coffee shop and feel like you’ve been there before?


15. How does a coffee snob take their coffee?

Seriously. Very seriously.

16. Why can’t you hang around coffee shops at night?

You’ll get mugged.

17. What do you call it when cafe customers joke about their coffee?

A brewhaha.

18. What did the Brazilian coffee say to the Indonesian coffee?

“What’s Sumatra with you?”

19. What do you call coffee with sunglasses and tattoos?

Cool beans.

20. What does a gossiping coffee do?

Spill the beans.

21. What did the mommy coffee bean say to the naughty little coffee bean?

You’re grounded.

22. What do beans say to their Valentines?

You keep me grounded.

23. How does a tech guy drink coffee?

He installs Java.

24. Why is it good to have a job in the coffee industry?

There are lots of perks.

25. How is divorce like an Espresso?

It’s expensive and bitter.

26. What did the coffees say before their night out?

Let’s stir up some trouble.

27. What do you call coffee that makes you feel sad?


28. What did the coffee lover name her son?

Joe, obviously.

29. What did the coffee addict say to his doctor?

I don’t have a problem with coffee. I have a problem without it.

30. Husband: Honey, this coffee tastes like dirt.

Wife: That’s not surprising, dear, it was just ground this morning.

31. What did the cup of coffee say to his friend?

What’s up, brew?.

32. Why did the barista get fired?

They kept showing up to work in a tea-shirt.

33. Who did Han Solo owe coffee to?

Java the Hut.

34. How did the hipster burn their mouth?

They drank their coffee before it was cool.

35. How does Moses make coffee?

Hebrews it.

36. Why did the cup of coffee always complain?

He was just bitter.

37. What’s a barista’s favorite exercise at the gym?

The French press.

38. What did the barista say when asked to heal a tired dog?

I’ll give it my best shot.

39. Why did the coffee file a police report?

Because it was mugged.

40. What’s fat, hairy, and drinks a lot of coffee?

Java the Hut.

41. Where do bad cups of coffee go when they die?

To perca-tory.

42. What’s it called when you steal someone’s coffee?

A mugging.

43. What kind of sugar does Lady Gaga use in her coffee?

Raw raw raw raw raw.

44. What do baristas prefer?


45. What is the last thing Batman will drink in the morning?

A cup of Joker.

46. What did the barista’s Valentine say?

I can’t espresso my love for you.

47. Why didn’t the cup of coffee make it into the hip hop video?

She was bottomless.

48. What do you call a sad cup of coffee?

A depresso.

49. What did the Italian guy say when he was teased?

Don’t mocha me.

50. Why was the instant cup of coffee so rude?

He had no filter.

51. What’s a barista’s favorite morning mantra?

Rise and grind.

52. There are two kinds of people in the world: those who love coffee and liars.

53. Why should you be wary of 5-cent espresso?

It’s a cheap shot.

54. What did the caffeine addict name his cats?

Cream and Sugar.

55. Why can’t cups of coffee go to Hogwarts?

They’re muggles.

56. What happens if you drink the same kind of coffee too much?

You get deja-brew.

57. Where do birds go for a cup of joe?

To the NESTcafe.

58. What is a bean’s favorite thing to eat on Thanksgiving?


59. Why did the cup of coffee lift the milk jug?

That was strong coffee.

60. What do you call the first level of a coffee factory?

The ground floor.

61. Why was the cup of coffee top of the class?

She was a beverage.

62. Does Moses use instant coffee?

No. He brews.

63. Why did the kangaroo stop drinking his cup of coffee?

It made him too jumpy.

64. Barista: How do you take your coffee?

Me: Very, very seriously.

65. What do you call sad coffee?


66. What’s the difference between coffee and your opinion?

I asked for a coffee.

67. Why do I not like hot drinks?

It’s just not my cup of tea.

68. Where do birds go for coffee?

To the NESTcafe.

69. What do you call a cow who’s just given birth?


70. Why do some people call fresh coffee mud?

Because it was just ground a few minutes ago.

71. What’s the opposite of coffee?


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