45 Most Hilarious Chris Rock Quotes To Read Now

Looking for the best and inspirational Chris Rock quotes?

Chris Rock is an American actor, comedian, screenwriter, film producer, and director. He is one of the most successful comedians in history with five Grammy Awards and six Golden Globe Awards to his name.

He has been a voice for social change through his comedy and actively involved in the Civil Rights Movement for decades. His powerful performances have made him an iconic figure that continues to entertain millions of people worldwide.

As a standup comedian, He was able to bring his unique perspective and humor to the world of film. He has parlayed his talent for comedy into a successful film career. Many people remember him as the comedic actor from “The Smoker,” He played a chain-smoking detective. His other notable films are “Down to Earth,” which starred Chris Elliot, and “Head of State,” which starred Dennis Hopper.

He was born on February 7, 1965, in Andrews, South Carolina, as Christopher Julius Rock III. He is the son of English-born jazz saxophonist Chris Sr., and African-American actress/dancer Lucille (née Cohen) Rock, who also had a career as an actress and standup comedian.

Here are some quotes from him who has never stopped providing entertainment to his fans.

45 Most Hilarious Chris Rock Quotes

“Put your heart, mind, and soul into even your smallest acts. This is the secret of success.”

“If poor people knew how rich rich people are, there would be riots in the streets.”

“Anyone who makes up their mind about an issue before they hear the issue is a fool.”

“Men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies … a man lie is, ‘I was at Kevin’s house!’ A woman lie is like, ‘It’s your baby!’”

“When you meet somebody for the first time, you’re not meeting them. You’re meeting their representative.”

“When you meet somebody for the first time, you’re not meeting them. You’re meeting their representative.”

“I think it’s better to have ideas. You can change an idea; changing a belief is trickier.”

“Smart is knowing if you’re dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you.”

“You can only offend me if you mean something to me.”

“It’s easier to get on show business, the hard part is to maintain. Nobody stays famous forever.”

“No matter what happens or how difficult things become, you will eventually feel better.”

“Unlike flying or astral projection, walking through walls is an earthbound pursuit…”

“You know the world is messed up when the tallest man in the NBA is Chinese, the best golfer is black, and the best rapper is white.”

“Whenever I go out with other married couples, I like to bring along a single crackhead. Just to spice things up.”

“Women would rule the world – if only they’d stop bitchin’ about each other.”

“You know, some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that you have to live each day like it’s your last. Bullshit. Life is long. You’re probably not gonna get hit by a bus. And you’re gonna have to live with the choices you make for the next fifty years.”

“With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.”

“I don’t get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there’s no rehab for stupidity.”

“My goals were small. My goal was to become a big enough stand-up that I wouldn’t have to do radio. I could sell out a club, which is like 300 seats. If I got big enough, I could sell before I got there, and I wouldn’t have to get up at 6 in the morning to do radio. That was pretty much the dream. I had no idea I’d be playing Madison Square Garden or anything.”

“You don’t pay taxes – they take taxes.”

“Listen to people that are smarter than you.”

“There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.”

“You can be anything you’re good at.”

“Daddy pays for the water, daddy pays for the gas, daddy pays for the electricity, and if daddy didn’t pay for the electricity, he’d pay for the candle on your nightstand, so you can study for the big test tomorrow.”

“Education is the movement from darkness to light.”

“People are always going to, you know, find something wrong with people who are not the exact same as them. That’s just what it is. Black, white, short, tall, religions, whatever. People are bad.”

“I have my own demons and dark moods. It’s weird.”

“People want what they want. And I guess that is a reason we have this big credit card problem and a lot of these foreclosures.”

“If you can keep your son off the pipe and your daughter off the pole, you’re ahead of the game.”

“You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time.”

“We got a justice system for rich, for poor, for black, for white. We live in a country where two people can do the exact same crime in the exact same place at the exact same time and get a different sentence.”

“Yeah, it’s unfair that you can get judged by something you didn’t do, but it’s also unfair that you can inherit money that you didn’t work for.”

“It’s hard for a man to turn down s*x… if they chase us, we can’t run that fast.”

“There’s always a moment in any stand-up show I do where people are booing. They kinda boo a premise. And then I bail myself out with a joke. But it’s like trying to do movies where there’s a dramatic undertone.”

“Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.”

“Wealth is not about having a lot of money; it’s about having a lot of options.”

Women are like the police, they could have all the evidence in the world but they still want the confession.”

“If poor people knew how rich rich people are, there would be riots in the streets,”

“There are people who would like to get rid of minimum wage. But we have to have it, because if we didn’t some people would not get paid money. They would work all week for two loaves of bread and some Spam.”

I dropped out of high school.”

“Funny is only something that others know about you — you can’t be funny by yourself.”

“If you want to prevent abortions, you make sure everyone has health care, a high school education and birth control. Not the exact opposite.”

“I used to work at McDonald’s making minimum wage. You know what that means when someone pays you minimum wage? You know what your boos was trying to say? ‘Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.’”

“You are in a competition… Every room you’re in, you’re competing with the people that played that room and you have to be at least as good as the other people that played that room.”

“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”

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