Have you ever heard a funny blonde joke? If not, then you are missing out on some of the funniest jokes around. These jokes have been around for decades, and they continue to make people laugh.
Blondes are a form of humour often used to make fun of people with blonde hair. While it can be funny, it is important to remember that these jokes can be hurtful and offensive. Hence it should never be said out loud, as it can cause unnecessary harm to those who are the butt of the joke. While they have been a staple of comedy for decades, they can still be hilarious when shared in the right setting.
Whether its a good laugh or you want to share some fun with friends, sharing a good funny blonde joke can be an enjoyable experience. Hence we’ve compiled a list of the best Blonde Jokes that are perfect for much-needed comic relief.
Blonde Jokes
1. What is something that beer bottles and blondes share?
They’re both empty from bottom to top.
2. Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
She kept throwing out all the ‘W’s.
3. Why do blondes make awful bank robbers?
Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards.
4. What do blondes do when their laptop freezes?
Microwave them.
5. Why do blondes wear panties?
They are trying to get their ankles warmed up.
6. How do you know if a blonde’s been using your computer?
You’ll find Wite Out all over the screen.
7. How do you confuse a blonde?
Put her in a circle and tell her to sit in the corner.
8. What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde’s head?
A Space Invader.
9. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman?
You have to hollow out the head.
10. What is the common phrase blondes say to their partners after having sex?
I’ll be home in 30 minutes”.
11. How do you keep at blonde at home?
You build a circular driveway.
12. How do you keep a blonde busy?
Write “flip” on both sides of a sheet of paper.
13. Why did the blonde climb the glass wall?
To see what was on the other side.
14. Why couldn’t the blonde write the number 11?
She couldn’t figure out which number came first.
15. Why did the blonde put her iPad in the blender?
She was trying to make apple juice.
16. Why couldn’t the blonde dial 911?
She couldn’t find the eleven.
17. Why do blondes never suffer from headaches?
Simple answer – no brain, no pain.
18. How do you confuse a blonde?
You don’t. They’re born that way.
19. What’s it called when a blonde dyes her hair brown?
Artificial intelligence.
20. Why do blondes drive BMWs?
Because they can spell it.
21. What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
Spot.
22. Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?
She was desperately trying to make up her mind.
23. Why didn’t 19 blondes go into a bar?
The sign said 21+.
24. How do you make a blonde’s eyes light up?
Shine a flashlight in her ears.
25. How do you drown a blonde?
Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.
26. How does a blonde brain cell die?
Alone.
27. How do you keep a blonde in the shower all day?
Hand her a bottle of shampoo that says “lather, rinse, repeat.”
28. What do the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common?
They both swallow a lot of sea men (aka semen).
29. What is the name of a blonde who has a brain?
A golden retriever.
30. What can you do to confuse a blonde? Nothing.
Blonde people are born that way.
31. How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
You tell her a joke on Wednesday.
32. What makes blondes smile when it’s lightning?
They think somebody is taking a picture of them.
33. Do you know what a blonde girl said when she realized she was pregnant?
I wonder if it’s mine.
34. Why don’t blondes talk during sex?
Their moms taught them never to speak to strangers.
35. What do screen doors and blondes have in common?
The more you bang them, the looser they get.
36. Why do blondes like wearing green lipstick?
Because they know that the red means “stop”.
37. Why was a blonde running around in circles in her bedroom?
Because she decided to catch up on her sleep.
38. Why couldn’t the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator?
She couldn’t find the 10 key.
39. What did the blonde say when she saw a box of Cheerios?
“Wow! Doughnut seeds!
40. Why did a blond buy an elephant instead of a new car?
Because an elephant has a bigger trunk.
41. Why do blondes tip-toe past medicine cabinets?
So they don’t wake up the sleeping pills.
42. What’s the difference between a pregnant blonde and a lightbulb?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.
43. Why do blondes love boob jobs?
It’s really the only job they’re qualified for.
44. Why are blonde jokes so short?
So they can remember them.
45. What do you call an intelligent blonde?
A golden retriever.
46. What is the occupation of a brunette between two blondes?
An interpreter.
47. Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar?
Someone told her drinks were on the house.
48. Why did the blonde put condoms on her ears?
To avoid getting hearing AIDS.
49. Why do blondes wear so much hair spray?
So they can catch all the things that go over their head.
50. What do you call a blond who dyed her hair brown?
Artificial intelligence.
51. How can you make a blonde go to the roof?
Tell her that drinks are on the house.
52. How do you keep a blonde in the shower all day?
You give them a shampoo that says “rinse, wash, and repeat.”
53. What’s every blonde’s dream in life?
To be like Vanna White and actually learn the alphabet.
54. Why do blondes like lightning?
They think someone is taking their picture.
55. Did you hear about the blonde who bought an AM radio?
It took her months to figure out she could use it at night.
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